No this isn't about my suckiness of blogging and reading. I have pneumonia again. Let's pretend that's where Ive been for the past three weeks and it didn't just get bad last saturday night hmm? This is really a random slashy thing but ill start with the title.
- Note to self: when you already do not fit in with the other school moms, do NOT start conversations with the phrase "Don't freak out because Im on antibiotics."
- The meeting was good. Well as good as can be expected during lean times. An example of this would be that Madame Fabu saw me in a lower cut top and asked if I was going to see the guidance counselor in question. I had to explain that these are rough times and I try not to leave the girls home anymore. She suggested I keep a pair of scissors in my car for emergencies.
-Why does nobody ever comment on the harrowing resemblance between Matt Damon and Leonardo DiCaprio? Yes, I did call it a harrowing resemblance. Defy me bitches.
- I had a bad meeting the last sunday in January with church members. Here is the thing. Once you meet a transgendered person, and you really want to like them and they are kind of judging and dismissive of YOU, it's kind of hard to find the right bloggable words. Because friends, Ive wanted to meet a transgendered person for a long time. It was a blow.
- The turnip gets his tonsils out next wednesday. Im a little worried. He is just so little. In the craziest twist of fate ever, he is the most compliant patient. We used to fight norm at the drs. The turnip actually tried to hold a thermometer under his tongue when he just turned two. His last shot made Norm cry but he did not cry himself. He just looked around like "what the hell was that?"
- I think I may have become the single most annoyable person in the world. I thought this at the valentine's party today at norm's school when i wanted to slap down on this woman for walking away from her scoop station. And wanted to add "maybe cuz your stupid" to every inane comment made today. I wonder why they don't like me there.
- Valentine's day is a freaking hell-scam. I spent forty bucks today on cards and candy. And (in reference to the last slash) almost broke a blood vessel when I realized that gill spent over three bucks on what at the time appeared to be the second most lame assed card he's ever bought me. Loyal crsites do you know the first? I admit that one effexor, two tablespoons of the codeine laden cough syrup and a sonicare toothbrush replacement made it appear way less lame and also made me glad I didn't follow my first instinct to cross out the elaborate verse on his card and scrawl "roses are red, violets are blue. You're such a dick and your card sucks bad too." (Before you all crawl up my butt in defense of gill, remember ive been sick. You know how he is with me when Im sick). In fact, despite the enormously unreasonable expense, it was lovely day and he was very kind to me.
- Remember (i cant link to him because Im sick and lazy but look to my sidebar to see that Xavier Onassis at Hip Suburban White Guy is my (and should be your) online resource for the next big holiday, "Steak and blowjob day".
- Man I could go for some scrambled eggs right now. Who wants to come make me scrambled eggs? With some cheese? Anyone?