Thursday, February 14, 2008

Why I can't win friends and influence people

No this isn't about my suckiness of blogging and reading. I have pneumonia again. Let's pretend that's where Ive been for the past three weeks and it didn't just get bad last saturday night hmm? This is really a random slashy thing but ill start with the title.

- Note to self: when you already do not fit in with the other school moms, do NOT start conversations with the phrase "Don't freak out because Im on antibiotics."

- The meeting was good. Well as good as can be expected during lean times. An example of this would be that Madame Fabu saw me in a lower cut top and asked if I was going to see the guidance counselor in question. I had to explain that these are rough times and I try not to leave the girls home anymore. She suggested I keep a pair of scissors in my car for emergencies.

-Why does nobody ever comment on the harrowing resemblance between Matt Damon and Leonardo DiCaprio? Yes, I did call it a harrowing resemblance. Defy me bitches.

- I had a bad meeting the last sunday in January with church members. Here is the thing. Once you meet a transgendered person, and you really want to like them and they are kind of judging and dismissive of YOU, it's kind of hard to find the right bloggable words. Because friends, Ive wanted to meet a transgendered person for a long time. It was a blow.

- The turnip gets his tonsils out next wednesday. Im a little worried. He is just so little. In the craziest twist of fate ever, he is the most compliant patient. We used to fight norm at the drs. The turnip actually tried to hold a thermometer under his tongue when he just turned two. His last shot made Norm cry but he did not cry himself. He just looked around like "what the hell was that?"

- I think I may have become the single most annoyable person in the world. I thought this at the valentine's party today at norm's school when i wanted to slap down on this woman for walking away from her scoop station. And wanted to add "maybe cuz your stupid" to every inane comment made today. I wonder why they don't like me there.

- Valentine's day is a freaking hell-scam. I spent forty bucks today on cards and candy. And (in reference to the last slash) almost broke a blood vessel when I realized that gill spent over three bucks on what at the time appeared to be the second most lame assed card he's ever bought me. Loyal crsites do you know the first? I admit that one effexor, two tablespoons of the codeine laden cough syrup and a sonicare toothbrush replacement made it appear way less lame and also made me glad I didn't follow my first instinct to cross out the elaborate verse on his card and scrawl "roses are red, violets are blue. You're such a dick and your card sucks bad too." (Before you all crawl up my butt in defense of gill, remember ive been sick. You know how he is with me when Im sick). In fact, despite the enormously unreasonable expense, it was lovely day and he was very kind to me.

- Remember (i cant link to him because Im sick and lazy but look to my sidebar to see that Xavier Onassis at Hip Suburban White Guy is my (and should be your) online resource for the next big holiday, "Steak and blowjob day".

- Man I could go for some scrambled eggs right now. Who wants to come make me scrambled eggs? With some cheese? Anyone?


Jay said...

"Why does nobody ever comment on the harrowing resemblance between Matt Damon and Leonardo DiCaprio? Yes, I did call it a harrowing resemblance. Defy me bitches."

My mother got "The Departed" from NetFlix. When I asked her if she liked it she said "Well, it's was okay but I couldn't remember which guy was Matt Damon, which one was Leo and which one was that Marky Marky guy."

I make great scrambled eggs. The secret is to use half-n-half instead of milk. And to fluff them up just as your pouring them into the hot pan that has butter in it. Then throw the shredded cheese in. Mmmmmmm Good scrambled eggs!

Stinkbait Boucher said...

"Don't freak out because I'm on antibiotics."

This reminds me of a conversation I once had in which the other person opened with "Would you prefer to sit on the other side of me so that you don't have to look at this?"

I sometimes wonder if that might have been you. We truly live parallel lives it seems.

Get better. It's always good to know that someone else is suffering too - and not just the moral-high-ground trans-gendered politicos.

Canada said...

I'm so sorry that you're sick, crse. I've missed you (not that I'm one to talk about blogging gaps - I've just missed you, that's all). Hopefully the tonsillectomy will make the Turnip feel better and less likely to scream when he's sick. He must have been pretty uncomfortable - poor little guy. I'm sure it'll go well - it'll be much harder on you than him!

And you should come to my church - it's the gay church of Ottawa (well, that's not what it's called but that's the reputation)and there are several transgendered people.

luckybuzz said...

"not just the moral-high-ground trans-gendered politicos"

WTF does that even mean?

/side chatter

crse, I would almost guarantee you've met a trans person before, and they just weren't introduced to you as such.

And I do confuse Leonardo and Matt.

And I hope you feel better!

crse said...

Jay- That is freaking. Brilliant. I always forget he was marky mark. was he a nkotb too?

SB- I think this about the parallel lives thing too. And have to ask myself, did I ever say this to someone? It sounds like something id say, but have I ever had something that people needed to see the other side of. I did have that eye goiter last year and I tried to be polite with folks about it...was it an eye goiter?

Canada- As usual, Im scared shitless but thanks for your encouragement buddy.

LB- seriously, the phrase he uses? Is like he was there. It was a damn crappy thing that happened and if it hadn't dealt with transgender issues (vaguely)I wouldn't bring up the transgender nature of the person who was so mean. You sound so certain about the fact that Ive met a trans person before, I don't care who they were but if you know the answer to the following can you just tell me? Did they like me? Or did they find me "power hungry and silencing"? (Ok that's a paraphrase but BARELY).

This cheers me up that you do confuse them too. Today is a better day

luckybuzz said...

crse, I had a feeling you would ask me who it was. :) I actually didn't have anyone in mind specifically that I know you've met--it was more of a vaguely certain statement. But if you haven't, I would be happy to introduce you to some wonderfully lovely trans people if you're ever in any of the places I live(d). :)

And I'm glad you're having a better day!

Lucy said...

Crse--hey baby. I'm glad you're back, and I missed you. As someone who was at the bad church meeting, the transgendered person was a complete bitch, and it really sucked because I always think that someone who has really struggled with personal identity problems will rise above the kind of gossipy mean girl crap that she clearly hasn't risen above. Absolutely Sucktastic.

I have no trouble telling Matt and Leo apart, but I do think that they've both got their best work behind them. Marky Mark, however, is in a class all his own. "Defy me bitches."

ZigZagMan said...

I can solve the Matt Damon / Leonardo DiCaprio dilemma for you buddy.

Matt was the Puppet in "Team America", Leonardo was the homewrecker in "Titanic".

See??? Isn't that better? There, now I can sleep at night.

Get well soon buddy. We miss ya! :)

The Mistress of the Dark said...

If I didn't live so far and have a car that is full of suck, I'd make you eggs :)

Factor 10 said...

So glad you're back!

If the Turnip has to have them out, I'm glad he's a good patient. Nothing worse than having to hold them down when you're having doubts yourself...

And I would totally make you some scrambled eggs that would rock your world. Isn't it time to come to CA?

Anonymous said...

Get well soon, hinny. And don't eat scrambled eggs with cheese, that's disgusting.

Bunny said...

We have a number of trans-gendered individuals in our church and most of the time it is no big. Some pre-op, some post- (and one very confused post-op individual who still can't pick a gender and stick with it). One of my friends is a transgendered person and she is incredibly outspoken and offends people left and right. I think you have to have a strong personality to handle being transgendered and some people seem to thing a strong personality has to be an obnoxious personality.

TG people are still just people too. It's like dating. You'll meet another some time who you'll like and get along with. This one just wasn't "the one." :-)

Give Turnip a big, big hug for me on surgery day. Poor little critter.

I hope you feel better soon as well. Hugs, sweetie.

Pippajo said...

Hey! I've been sick too! But I don't have pneumonia. I'm not sure I spelled that right. I did, however, have a raging sinus infection, which I'm pretty sure I spelled right. That sucked too.

I understand your worries about The Turnip. Man-Cub had to have surgery when he was about 10 months old and I was an absolute wreck even though the surgery was minor.

I hope everything turns out okay and you can resume entertaining us all soon!

crse said...

LB- Aww! You are good to me. Who it was crossed my mind but I more just want to believe I am not all those things to all transgendered folks. Which is kind of stupidly pandering on my part. I blame the sickness baby.
Lucy- Marky Mark rocks my world. You can quote me on that darlin....
Zig- Thank you. You earned my vote for president buddy!
MOTD- Thanks buddy!
Jen- have I mentioned I am going to be DANGEROUSLY CLOSE to you in the next several months? Someone pretty special is having a baby Im going to need to come and visit. (hear that LB?)
Lina- awww thanks buddy! I haven't had any if it's any consolation to you!
bunny- that is actually kind of helpful. I appreciate it. And Ill definitely be hugging up the turnip and spreading the love when he goes!
Pippa! You did spell it right sunshine! I don't know why it comforts me about the man-cub but it does. Thank you buddy. And you get better too!!! Ive missed you

Actually Ive missed you all.....

luckybuzz said...

For the record? I love the hell outta Marky Mark (yes, really--I love all the movies I've seen him in) AND scrambled eggs with cheese (I really hate eating eggs without cheese). :)