Well friends, Im happy to report that the week has completely turned around and Im once again riding the lazy river of denial and hope! So here is something interesting/odd/slightly uncomfortable/embarrassing to share. We are going to a pig roast tonight. Now, Ive heard about pig roasts before and we've been invited to this one for the last four years, but this is the very first time that Im faced with actually attending one. The party is hosted by one of the owners of Gill's company who seems to be a totally fun guy who by all indications throws a hell of a shindig. (We always blew it off in the past because we had other things going on) Somehow, I guess I never really played the tape through about what is actually going to happen at this event. And now, Im kind of horrified. So all week long, these sort of disturbing thoughts about the roast have been floating around the edges of my conscious mind. Like on the invitation, there is a thank you to the woman who raised and provided the pig. Um...Fern?? Where are you because I think Wilbur is in some big damn trouble right now. I don't know what the hell I was thinking. Its not like I was holding on to an image of the pig up on a stage like flavor-flav with all the pigs friends telling jokes. Still, over the last day or so, it occurred to me as Im looking at books with the turnip, asking him what sound the pig makes, how are the kids going to feel when they see a whole charred pig? How am I going to feel? How can i eat, or let my babies eat something after we all clearly saw that it was bigger than any one of us individually? The whole experience smacks of cannibalism to me. The execution of Joan of Arc is also coming to mind a lot. I mean I tried vegetarianism and couldnt take it, but I am firm about wanting to be as far away as possible from any knowledge of my meat as an animal. (for instance, where do hamburgers come from? Why the freezer of course) Its shallow cruelty i know, (I am working towards a more healthy approach and gradually trying to add cruelty free meat to our diets)(admittedly, gradual in the sense that im still buying the happy eggs and have asked my friend Feather about good places to buy happy meat) but its how i roll. So as the party draws closer, Im feeling less and less festive and more like Im heading into a scene straight out of lord of the flies.
Speaking of the flavor-flav roast,Im a little concerned about carrot top. He appears to have some defensiveness issues. I was really afraid he was going to go off during the show. Im researching this further. I will keep you posted. (but no i am not going to explain how i ended up watching the flavor-flav roast. Some things just..happen)
In positive news, someone mailed my driver's license back to me this week. I took it as the universe telling me to lose the morose attitude. Ok thats what i got.
