Tuesday Twelve

Because Im way behind on the tts, and because its probably not all that effective to deal with the last three hours of baby tantrum by screaming in the same high pitched tone back in the turnip's face or offering up phrases like " "Melmo hates mean babies" and "Shut your DAMM pIIIIEEEE holllle". And also because Norm responded to my warning that im a woman on the edge with "no you arent, you are a woman with your straight eyes open" Im clearly in need of a smile list.

Twelve things that make me smile:

1. Screaming "Shut yer damm pie hole" at my two year old.

2. Having my five year old jump in and scream it with me. (ok this isnt my "how am i mother of the year" list so back off)

3. The season premiere of "The Office".

4. Premium Cable On Demand. Who thought of this? Because it is FUCKING BRILLIANT.

5. Avoiding a Chuck E. Cheese birthday party only to have gill share the conversation he walked into between my friend T and someone else as he arrived at the party:
T: How come all the husbands get out of these things? (notices gill approaching) I see the husband in your relationship got out of it too.

(T, if you are reading this I SWEAR I was legitimately falling asleep mid conversation)

6. Norm just now approaching me shyly, in dead seriousness, and asking in the most conversational tone, "Can I smell your armpits?"

7. Being able to scream the lyrics to "I think I love you" by the partridge family at the top of my lungs in my car after finding a lost mix cd.

8. Lindsay Lohan finally committing to sobriety. I pray for that girl every day. (ok that statement was for my own amusement)

9. The turnip counting to 20:
....un....feee...feee...feee....nine..nine...nine...fee..eight.. un...un...un...eighteen... eighteen... eighteen... eighteen... fee... fee... fee ...TEET!!! (this is counting along with sesame street)

10. Mentally creating a thursday thirteen list of all the things I hate about zoe monster from sesame street.

11. A possible light at the end of the tunnel of my double job. (I cant say anymore for fear of jinxing myself).

12. Why does this man have a small faux votive candle on his head? Stories soon to follow.

Tuesday twelve

Ok read the post below first, so you can end on a high note.....done? Onward to the Tuesday Twelve (and my apologies to Gretty for being such a bad stalker and posting it on Wed!) But first my apologies for lack of comments lately. I have a lot of them saved up. Its the damn google reader! Oh and confidential to Mert? Your blog is still shutting down. I tried to subscribe to your comments but it only takes me back to a post from january. Pippa? Yours is stalling too! Just wanted to let you know!

Twelve things that make me smile.

1. Finally channelling my power to kick the ball (or "tattoo" it, as one of my team-mates says!) just in time for what i consider to be our grudge match.
2. Finishing what i consider to be the "ultimate packet" only to have the school postpone a meeting which means Im now PREPARED IN ADVANCE!
3. Having Norm validate that the lady who non-verbally scorns me every day when we are borderline tardy is indeed "yelly".
4. Finding a new sitter that can ease Gretty's overtime burden during her two weeks of transition to the world of grown ups.
5. PREMIUM CABLE (madame fabu, i adore you)
6. Rocking the fifth grade kickball field. Hell yeah.
7. Overtime pay.
8. "Birdie maman!(im so tickled with his french at age two!) Its Birdie (big bird) Birdie (Ernie) and Bert. And melmo. Its Melmo!"
9. The most fabulous kindergarten smile in the world.
10. Taking pride in being married to the only curly mustached man at the open house, only to be overshadowed by a man showing up late in a black cossack. It was like being beaten by a gold medalist.
11. Having to explain to an 11 year old that she was caught on video tape punching another kid. Four times. (This makes me giggle. I dont know why)
12. The politics of kickball turning out way better than I even imagined! Go (it kills me to say it) Ballistics!

Things that make me happy Tuesday

Let me preface this by saying that I completely suck. Im behind on blogs. Im behind on many many things. However, it just aint a tuesday anymore if I dont do Gretty's Tuesday Twelve . Many things to be happy about this week despite how bad I suck and how far behind I am.

1. My brother and his family are coming to stay the whole weekend this weekend! Good times will be had by all...(these will include but are not limited to a birthday party for my little adorable moppet of a niece, the county fair, and possibly a shopping trip).
2. I got my first Yahtzee of the summer yesterday.
3. They now have frequent soda drinker cards at Sheetz. Not only that but the Very Cute Sheetz boy that Ive been working for about six months gave me a card and punched it all out so I can get a free one right away!
4. I may be able to refinance my house and save lots of money.
5. I got reimbursed for a trip I did not think I would be reimbursed for. YAY!
6. My boss Lonnie Manko is returning from a month long training. She is of the rocking sort so this will be good.
7. First kickball game tomorrow! (I made this seven for good luck)
8. Something really good happened to Mother Fabu. It would take too long to explain.
9. Found a new game to play with Madame Fabu at the Crawford County Fair. Count the pregnant smoking ladies. Made the experience much less gruelling.
10. Its staying hot. I heart hot! (i know this is not a popular mindset)
11. Operation Kiss My Ass is starting to pay off towards the targeted family member. Ive also managed to expand this more every day. I had a particular success yesterday when a dear friend was completely at odds with me about a work issue. (not Madame Fabu. We are not ever at odds because she is my supervisor and she also listens to my opinions and explains her position in a way that makes me feel ok about issues...) Usually because she is such a dear friend, I would have apologized for my viewpoint and concurred with hers. I love her dearly and didnt want her to kiss my ass per se, but thanks to the assertiveness Ive found through Operation Kiss My Ass, I was able to remain assertive about my position despite the fact that Im pretty sure she thought I was wrong. Turns out, she is still nice to me and despite our professional differences, I think (im not positive) she wants to still be my friend!
12. My Dad rocks. No particular reason. I just cannot say that enough.

I promise I will catch up soon. Im going down my blog list (which is completely random and not in order of preference) and reading a bit at a time!

Because Im a gretty groupie

Im going to convert this thursday thirteen to a tuesday twelve sheerly out of love for the gret Twelve things (ok yeah i could come up with thirteen but its gretty here and good groupies are consistent groupies) Im extremely happy about this week. Warning the list will include but not be limited to the fantastic and surprisingly low key birthday i had yesterday.

1. The best birthday present I think Ive ever gotten. (courtesy of my artiste friend gretty)
(Bear with my sorry attempts to capture this on film)

2. Gill got me a snazzy new printer/copier/scanner/fax machine HOOKED UP RIGHT TO MY LAPTOP! Now all i need is the catheter and ill never leave this chair again.

3. Kickball season starts wednesday and I set my first official work boundary by rescheduling my supervision group despite the fact that not every single person could be accomodated. Usually I would apologize profusely and/or sacrifice my own plans to do the group but with the support and encouragement of madame fabu (just one of the many reasons she has this name!) I did not do this and people are going to have to deal with it. Go me!

4. The lusciously lovely Luckybuzz sent me this and I clearly need to add it to my page somehow.


5. LB and her husband the gorgeously goofy Gospel Bob as well as several other people including my little facebook contingency ( Terrifically tantalizing Trix! My own spider monkey song! You have no idea what that means to me!) made special birthday wishes that melted my heart and made me happy! (gospel bob, i hope you are blog stalking me. If you aren't its ok. Ill just pretend you are silently stalking and not leaving comments!)

6. Best birthday song performance goes out to Lucy and the Lucettes(the adorable little moppets that are my nieces) for the birthday song message of a lifetime. You guys are all rockstars!

7. Going to the crawford county fair with the Fabus this weekend! (note to Lucy, playing "there's your boyfriend/girlfriend" in Crawford County is like playing it at Rogers. Its just too damn easy)

8. Whenever Im down?







I simply cross dress my baby and life just feels better*

9. We are in the midst of another wave of birthdays. Yesterday, was also my dearest friend and birthday buddy C-no's fortieth birthday. Our friend Lainie is on the 26th. Luckybuzz is the 31st. My oldest little adorable moppet/niece (who needs a good nickname) is September 1st, both Gospel Bob and the fabulously beautiful and brilliant Feather share September 14th, and Princess Fabu and my cousin Larry are the 15th. Bring on da noise bring on da ugly season!

10. Im still making my bed.

11. Ive spun most of my fall schedules into a believable set of lies. (again go me!)

12. Awww! Just when I was struggling for number 12 my brother just called to wish me a happy birthday! As the guy with the tangerine lipgloss says "Im one lucky gal".

Thanks for indulging me friends.

*Note: in my defense, he actually chose the outfit himself. (also you can see parts of princess fabu in the background if you look carefully!)