Let me preface this by saying that I completely suck. Im behind on blogs. Im behind on many many things. However, it just aint a tuesday anymore if I dont do Gretty's Tuesday Twelve . Many things to be happy about this week despite how bad I suck and how far behind I am.
1. My brother and his family are coming to stay the whole weekend this weekend! Good times will be had by all...(these will include but are not limited to a birthday party for my little adorable moppet of a niece, the county fair, and possibly a shopping trip).
2. I got my first Yahtzee of the summer yesterday.
3. They now have frequent soda drinker cards at Sheetz. Not only that but the Very Cute Sheetz boy that Ive been working for about six months gave me a card and punched it all out so I can get a free one right away!
4. I may be able to refinance my house and save lots of money.
5. I got reimbursed for a trip I did not think I would be reimbursed for. YAY!
6. My boss Lonnie Manko is returning from a month long training. She is of the rocking sort so this will be good.
7. First kickball game tomorrow! (I made this seven for good luck)
8. Something really good happened to Mother Fabu. It would take too long to explain.
9. Found a new game to play with Madame Fabu at the Crawford County Fair. Count the pregnant smoking ladies. Made the experience much less gruelling.
10. Its staying hot. I heart hot! (i know this is not a popular mindset)
11. Operation Kiss My Ass is starting to pay off towards the targeted family member. Ive also managed to expand this more every day. I had a particular success yesterday when a dear friend was completely at odds with me about a work issue. (not Madame Fabu. We are not ever at odds because she is my supervisor and she also listens to my opinions and explains her position in a way that makes me feel ok about issues...) Usually because she is such a dear friend, I would have apologized for my viewpoint and concurred with hers. I love her dearly and didnt want her to kiss my ass per se, but thanks to the assertiveness Ive found through Operation Kiss My Ass, I was able to remain assertive about my position despite the fact that Im pretty sure she thought I was wrong. Turns out, she is still nice to me and despite our professional differences, I think (im not positive) she wants to still be my friend!
12. My Dad rocks. No particular reason. I just cannot say that enough.
I promise I will catch up soon. Im going down my blog list (which is completely random and not in order of preference) and reading a bit at a time!
Showing posts with label gratitude stuff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gratitude stuff. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Turnaround Tuesday
I am from this point forward pledging myself to Gretty's Tuesday Twelve which (perhaps unofficially) consists of listing twelve life brightening thoughts. (dont worry, i wont get all rainbow brite on you folks) The last 24 hours have completely restored my faith in myself and humanity (or at least my own ability to grab humanity by the asshairs and whip it down like the he-bitch it is.)
It was really just the little things. Finding out a big administrative clusterfuck was not going to be that way at all.
Cornering two supervisees who have been behaving in a slimy way and watching them squirm in the glare of my righteous fist of fury. (well at least it was like that in my mind)
Avoiding not one but two scary principal conversations while still getting results. Even better getting a KINDLY message (oh I said Kindly) from the one principal who only ten short months ago was consistently unable to hide the fact that he viewed me and my kind with abject loathing. Not only was it kindly? BUT HE RAN OUT OF TIME! It was rambly! On the one hand, I need to clarify that the relationship shift is a direct result of my concerted efforts to kiss his ass and pretend that i didnt notice his contempt every self deprecating demoralizing week of this ten month span, so this milestone is not a complete miracle. What is amazing to me is the fact that it only took me ten months. Ive had to do the dance of demoralizing self-deprecation for YEARS on people not nearly as openly hostile as he was, only to get them to admit that they knew who i was in meetings, let alone acknowledge that I had anything helpful to add. A phone call? After ten months? Shhhwinnnggggg!
I learned to double side copy.
I got a really really cheap iced tea.
I had a lovely dinner with the Fabuwomen.
Gill cleaned the house and mowed the front lawn while we were gone.
All that and as we speak Im making a case for TEAM PESTILENCE (thank you m. boucher!)
So viva la tuesday twelve!
It was really just the little things. Finding out a big administrative clusterfuck was not going to be that way at all.
Cornering two supervisees who have been behaving in a slimy way and watching them squirm in the glare of my righteous fist of fury. (well at least it was like that in my mind)
Avoiding not one but two scary principal conversations while still getting results. Even better getting a KINDLY message (oh I said Kindly) from the one principal who only ten short months ago was consistently unable to hide the fact that he viewed me and my kind with abject loathing. Not only was it kindly? BUT HE RAN OUT OF TIME! It was rambly! On the one hand, I need to clarify that the relationship shift is a direct result of my concerted efforts to kiss his ass and pretend that i didnt notice his contempt every self deprecating demoralizing week of this ten month span, so this milestone is not a complete miracle. What is amazing to me is the fact that it only took me ten months. Ive had to do the dance of demoralizing self-deprecation for YEARS on people not nearly as openly hostile as he was, only to get them to admit that they knew who i was in meetings, let alone acknowledge that I had anything helpful to add. A phone call? After ten months? Shhhwinnnggggg!
I learned to double side copy.
I got a really really cheap iced tea.
I had a lovely dinner with the Fabuwomen.
Gill cleaned the house and mowed the front lawn while we were gone.
All that and as we speak Im making a case for TEAM PESTILENCE (thank you m. boucher!)
So viva la tuesday twelve!
Monday, August 13, 2007
Smile dickhead (Stolen from Gretty)
Because she made me laugh out loud a few times today, I am going to follow her lead and make a list of twelve happiness things. Gret did things that have made her smile lately but since I havent been smiling or laughing too much, I figured I was best focusing on just things that have great potential to make me happy.
1. We have cheese in the house and I dont think I bounced any checks obtaining the cheese.
2. Listening to Norm on his new telephone line, calling people and leaving messages. (LB I almost peed myself when he told you about going to first the "dry park and then the water park")Even better, listening to him handle sales calls.
3. Watching the turnip run onto the practice field during Norm's first soccer practice.
4. Watching my little brother coach eleven five year olds.
5. Seeing same brother smile when I gave him a cheap ass and goofy birthday present today because it brought back funny memories.
6. Having a friend wonderful enough to remove my screaming baby from the sporting goods store so I could complete my transaction. Thank you Gretty. I love you!
7. Knowing that the boys and i are going to spend the evening with the fantastic female fabus tomorrow night.
8. Finding chunks of ice in the drink cooler and knowing for a fact that Gill chipped them directly from the freezer in the garage. Who does that? Why does it crack me up so much?
9. Kickball registration! (and the possibility that i talked the team into something more aggressive than the kickballistics, which granted is clever, but does not strike fear in the hearts of our opponents!)
10. Sheetz is adding an espresso bar to the store by Gill's work. This could mean that they will expand the espresso bar option to the sheetz closer to my house! (whoohoooo)
11. Facing the first awkward situation of pain today (in one instance) and feeling like I came out on top, looking gracious and not slightly needy or submissive. Go me. I think.
12. My blogfriends. (cheesy heart out to all of you!)
Thanks for your patience as we slowly return to our regularly scheduled absurdities.
1. We have cheese in the house and I dont think I bounced any checks obtaining the cheese.
2. Listening to Norm on his new telephone line, calling people and leaving messages. (LB I almost peed myself when he told you about going to first the "dry park and then the water park")Even better, listening to him handle sales calls.
3. Watching the turnip run onto the practice field during Norm's first soccer practice.
4. Watching my little brother coach eleven five year olds.
5. Seeing same brother smile when I gave him a cheap ass and goofy birthday present today because it brought back funny memories.
6. Having a friend wonderful enough to remove my screaming baby from the sporting goods store so I could complete my transaction. Thank you Gretty. I love you!
7. Knowing that the boys and i are going to spend the evening with the fantastic female fabus tomorrow night.
8. Finding chunks of ice in the drink cooler and knowing for a fact that Gill chipped them directly from the freezer in the garage. Who does that? Why does it crack me up so much?
9. Kickball registration! (and the possibility that i talked the team into something more aggressive than the kickballistics, which granted is clever, but does not strike fear in the hearts of our opponents!)
10. Sheetz is adding an espresso bar to the store by Gill's work. This could mean that they will expand the espresso bar option to the sheetz closer to my house! (whoohoooo)
11. Facing the first awkward situation of pain today (in one instance) and feeling like I came out on top, looking gracious and not slightly needy or submissive. Go me. I think.
12. My blogfriends. (cheesy heart out to all of you!)
Thanks for your patience as we slowly return to our regularly scheduled absurdities.
Sunday, August 05, 2007
my new happy place
What is significant about this picture is that this is our own Luckybuzz holding both their hands after turnip yanked away from me so he could hold her hand. I almost cried. In the good way. I have so much to say about the visit but im a little too sad and almost forced Gospel Bob to gnaw off his own limbs to get away.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
I heart my in-laws!
Well folks, we are back from the spreading of the ashes of the guy we never met, and let me tell you…its been a long strange trip. Do you know what is worse than not have internet in the mountains? Having constant live blog fodder and being powerless to blog. Ah well, at least I can offer you a retrospective in dashes:
- We stayed with gill’s aunt M and Uncle J. Aunt M did not seem happy to meet me but did tell me soon after to ignore the mess because “we might not be clean here but we are happy” (it really wasn’t that dirty at all)
- Her words actually made the whole stale cigarette smoke/really strong cat piss smell seem more pleasant than it normally would have been. Im not joking. (I think it only smells that way because they have three cats)
- Apparently, it is not customary in the clan of Gill to offer food or drink to anyone over the age of five, no matter how long you are planning on staying. Food is served at meal times but nobody offered me beer ever. I got one beer all weekend. The gill clan is totally a byob clan.
- Aunt M vacillated between totally awesome and a mean spiteful harridan. As you all know, this is exactly what I look for in a mother figure so I was right at home.
- Until she made me eat a raw onion.
- Yes you read that right.
- She made me eat a raw onion.
- She was like kryptonite to my pickiness powers. Id never experienced anything like it. And correct me if Im wrong faithful readers, but Im pretty sure Ive never wanted to punch a senior citizen before either. So that’s two first for crse right there….
- We slept in the family camper which was parked in the driveway. We shared these accommodations with Gill’s niece and nephew. I had thought it a bit unpleasant the first night as my pillow ratio wasn’t good and there were blanket issues (plus peeing outside).
- I felt particularly at home with the gentlemen who ended up being my Drunk Old Men Posse (DOMP) ( most of gill’s uncles and older male cousins). There were points throughout the trip when I was positive they were the only ones who liked me. (despite the byob crap)
- Turns out the first night was a fucking five star hotel compared to the second night which involved me needing to pee five times, the turnip waking up shrieking for an hour and a half at four am and the foul odor of sauerkraut that permeated the whole trailer because someone left a used crockpot right outside one of the windows. (I know that makes no sense. The weekend was kind of like that.)
- Gill completely bailed on me Friday and stayed in the camper until 530 with a “headache” leaving me completely alone with a group of people who knew me only as the woman who kept gill away from the family for 13 years. The DOMP spent a good deal of time during the day at some sort of “man club”. I missed them sorely.
- By 530 Friday, the only people being remotely pleasant to me were my father in law and a stinky cousin of gill’s who would have been somewhat attractive if he didn’t have that raging stench.
- Stinky has two iguanas and spent a great deal of time graciously attempting to enlighten me about these fantastic little wonders of nature.
- Im really scared of iguanas now.
- Stinky’s stench (or what gill and I now refer to as “the taint”) lingered in the oddest of places. I am still getting whiffs of it here and there. Its very disturbing.
- Kojak and Dolly both came through for me Friday evening. It was nice to have a relatively sober contingency.
- By Saturday I was talking trash playing cards with the DOMP and exchanging addresses and emails.
- I was also getting good gossip from Aunt M and the rest of the girl cousins.
- I developed a full scale loathing for a smarmy rotund man who thankfully was not related to “us” . I was excited to hear everyone secretly dislikes him too!
- The memorial on Saturday consisted of us all walking over to a tree and having the wheelchair bound aunt toss ashes from the dead uncle onto the tree. It was kind of odd because the ashes kept kicking up and she ended up getting them all over her. She did not seem bothered by this.
- I went from being ok with my own uncles to having two totally favorite uncles in law.
- My absolute favorite Uncle patted my ass when I left. He was drunk of course. I took this as a clear symbol that I had been accepted into the tribe.
- How can I not feel at home with anybody (read: my favorite uncle) who sets up a picture like this?
- We stayed with gill’s aunt M and Uncle J. Aunt M did not seem happy to meet me but did tell me soon after to ignore the mess because “we might not be clean here but we are happy” (it really wasn’t that dirty at all)
- Her words actually made the whole stale cigarette smoke/really strong cat piss smell seem more pleasant than it normally would have been. Im not joking. (I think it only smells that way because they have three cats)
- Apparently, it is not customary in the clan of Gill to offer food or drink to anyone over the age of five, no matter how long you are planning on staying. Food is served at meal times but nobody offered me beer ever. I got one beer all weekend. The gill clan is totally a byob clan.
- Aunt M vacillated between totally awesome and a mean spiteful harridan. As you all know, this is exactly what I look for in a mother figure so I was right at home.
- Until she made me eat a raw onion.
- Yes you read that right.
- She made me eat a raw onion.
- She was like kryptonite to my pickiness powers. Id never experienced anything like it. And correct me if Im wrong faithful readers, but Im pretty sure Ive never wanted to punch a senior citizen before either. So that’s two first for crse right there….
- We slept in the family camper which was parked in the driveway. We shared these accommodations with Gill’s niece and nephew. I had thought it a bit unpleasant the first night as my pillow ratio wasn’t good and there were blanket issues (plus peeing outside).
- I felt particularly at home with the gentlemen who ended up being my Drunk Old Men Posse (DOMP) ( most of gill’s uncles and older male cousins). There were points throughout the trip when I was positive they were the only ones who liked me. (despite the byob crap)
- Turns out the first night was a fucking five star hotel compared to the second night which involved me needing to pee five times, the turnip waking up shrieking for an hour and a half at four am and the foul odor of sauerkraut that permeated the whole trailer because someone left a used crockpot right outside one of the windows. (I know that makes no sense. The weekend was kind of like that.)
- Gill completely bailed on me Friday and stayed in the camper until 530 with a “headache” leaving me completely alone with a group of people who knew me only as the woman who kept gill away from the family for 13 years. The DOMP spent a good deal of time during the day at some sort of “man club”. I missed them sorely.
- By 530 Friday, the only people being remotely pleasant to me were my father in law and a stinky cousin of gill’s who would have been somewhat attractive if he didn’t have that raging stench.
- Stinky has two iguanas and spent a great deal of time graciously attempting to enlighten me about these fantastic little wonders of nature.
- Im really scared of iguanas now.
- Stinky’s stench (or what gill and I now refer to as “the taint”) lingered in the oddest of places. I am still getting whiffs of it here and there. Its very disturbing.
- Kojak and Dolly both came through for me Friday evening. It was nice to have a relatively sober contingency.
- By Saturday I was talking trash playing cards with the DOMP and exchanging addresses and emails.
- I was also getting good gossip from Aunt M and the rest of the girl cousins.
- I developed a full scale loathing for a smarmy rotund man who thankfully was not related to “us” . I was excited to hear everyone secretly dislikes him too!
- The memorial on Saturday consisted of us all walking over to a tree and having the wheelchair bound aunt toss ashes from the dead uncle onto the tree. It was kind of odd because the ashes kept kicking up and she ended up getting them all over her. She did not seem bothered by this.
- I went from being ok with my own uncles to having two totally favorite uncles in law.
- My absolute favorite Uncle patted my ass when I left. He was drunk of course. I took this as a clear symbol that I had been accepted into the tribe.
- How can I not feel at home with anybody (read: my favorite uncle) who sets up a picture like this?
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Monday, June 18, 2007
Im a crappy daughter
There were a lot of good Dad (and anti dad) posts in my blogs this weekend and I have the rockinest dad ever and i should have posted good things about him. He is kind of hard to explain on paper though! Think retired truck driver who works at a golf course. He is crusty but a total cream puff for his kids. (particularly his only daughter) I need to make a list about my dad. Ill get to that right after I finish my sixty four. In my defense, we did have him over for dinner and actually watched the last hour of the US open with him. (yes the only time i watch sports is with my dad. See? Im not such an awful daughter!) I did however re-read his card after he opened it and was mortified because it was a lot lamer than i remembered when i bought it. He disagreed and told me it was very sweet and gave me a big hug. See? Awesome dad!
Ok just wanted to make sure everyone knows my dad totally rocks.
Ok just wanted to make sure everyone knows my dad totally rocks.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
My birthday boy
Ok this is not the retrospective i wanted to present. But since I have a half written post about madame fabu's interesting yet highly disturbing adventure into kidney stone surgery as well as another half written post about norm and aunt gretty's absolutely positively no good very bad day, and dont have time to give either post the attention needed to bring them up to stellar post quality (like youve come to suspect at chez panflutemaster!) here is the beginning of the retrospective. I have an idea for another one after his birthday party (OMG, I CANNOT BE A MOMBLOG) (Is it my fault that my children are so strikingly photogenic that it seems like a crime to deprive the world from their beautiful faces?) (On the other hand, it probably is my fault that their sociopathic antics make a great deal of fodder for what i hear is quite entertaining reading)Anyway love up some norm here and thanks to all of you for the happy birthday wishes....more norm, fabu and aunt gretty later...
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
squee!!!
What a difference a day makes!
Yesterday was an exercising in gruelling with very few bright spots. Today several amazing things happened!
- At 11 this morning, I got a delightful text from a co-worker informing me that FICG had been walking around all day with a hole in his ass without knowing it. About an hour later, I got another text from a different co-worker telling me that one of the students at his school had pointed it out to him at lunch. I think I really don't need to elaborate on why this made the world a better place for me today.
-Al Franken is running for U.S. Senate. Yay! Ive been a fan after reading both Rush Limbaugh Is a Big Fat Idiot, and Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them. Yay!
- The people have spoken and Imus got cancelled today. Im all about free speech and love the fact that enough people spoke freely enough to let the sponsors know that spewing hate is not going to make you money. Oh I could go on but our good friend XO summed it up perfectly.
Ok I REALLY need to update my blogroll and i promise I will do this soon because my god, you people need to read each other! You guys rock!
Yesterday was an exercising in gruelling with very few bright spots. Today several amazing things happened!
- At 11 this morning, I got a delightful text from a co-worker informing me that FICG had been walking around all day with a hole in his ass without knowing it. About an hour later, I got another text from a different co-worker telling me that one of the students at his school had pointed it out to him at lunch. I think I really don't need to elaborate on why this made the world a better place for me today.
-Al Franken is running for U.S. Senate. Yay! Ive been a fan after reading both Rush Limbaugh Is a Big Fat Idiot, and Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them. Yay!
- The people have spoken and Imus got cancelled today. Im all about free speech and love the fact that enough people spoke freely enough to let the sponsors know that spewing hate is not going to make you money. Oh I could go on but our good friend XO summed it up perfectly.
Ok I REALLY need to update my blogroll and i promise I will do this soon because my god, you people need to read each other! You guys rock!
Saturday, March 31, 2007
raison d'etre
Gill loves to educate his children. I never know what im going to hear when he is bonding and i walk past. It can be anything from the physics of jello to the beauty of mathematical reality in nature. Last week he was reading them hindu fairy tales (or something). From the kitchen today, i hear him discussing how Alexander Fleming discovered penicillin while bitching to his old lab assistant about how messy everything had gotten since he departed. He'd picked up a pile of dirty petri dishes to show him and there was penicillin! So Gill tells norm, "thats why when your mommy is a complete mess, i dont mind. Because sometimes really good surprises come from a mess". To which norm added "thats why you dont kill her huh?" and he said "yeah buddy, thats why i dont kill her"
Happiness is watching your three boys dance to electronica in the living room around piles of unfolded laundry.
By the way? The hospital where penicillin was discovered? FUCKING ST. MARY'S!
Happiness is watching your three boys dance to electronica in the living room around piles of unfolded laundry.
By the way? The hospital where penicillin was discovered? FUCKING ST. MARY'S!
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Long Live The King
Well folks, I am happy to report that we made it through surgery with little if any mishap. Thank you all for your good wishes and warm thoughts towards my little norman. As a reward, I offer you random dashes for your reading enjoyment.
- We arrived in a timely manner. I would like to take credit for being a responsible mom but truth be told, the only reason we made it was because there was ZERO traffic on the main strip and what normally takes fifteen minutes to drive took five. I did enjoy faking it for the surgery people though.
-Norm was AMAZING. The worst part for me was waiting for them to take him. They told us I couldnt go back and he did not cry but his little face scrunched up and I fell apart inside (but not outside thankfully). The nurses gave him a teddy bear to take in and he seemed ok with that. (nice to know i can be replaced with something really soft and furry) (don't get any ideas there gill). In fact, it prompted to make a satisfied declaration about his two favorite things, teddy bears and ninjas.
- The outpatient surgery place had this open kitchen with bagels, cream cheese, crackers (cheese on wheat) coffee and THREE KINDS OF SODA! It was awesome! Local folks, I highly recommend the place if you are ever in the area and need a free snack. Its crowded enough that if you are subtle, nobody will know you don't belong.
-Aunt Gret has been quite the doting and worried aunt which is working out super well for us. When she is nervous, she cleans. We came home at 11am to find the entire house spotless and clothes folded. Trust me, everybody in the world needs a friend like this. Right now she is coloring on the floor with Norm and he has completely stopped addressing me, directing all his requests to the more entertaining "beautiful face" (norm constantly refers to her face as such)(and she is, but he is so desperately romantic about it) of Aunt Gret.
- On a slightly disturbing note, we were watching Higgly Town Heroes before the surgery. I am going to use up a whole dash talking about this inane program. If you have never seen it, the characters look like this.
Now friends, I can get behind the nesting doll concept, but why do their faces need to be so ugly. They are just completely unattractive. And ive seen attractive nesting dolls so I know it can be done. The entire concept of the show is to look at different occupations and marvel at their everyday heroism. And when you think about it, this is a bothersome concept on a few levels. 1) First, as my cousin Larry points out, this is your JOB, and since you are paid to do it are you really a hero? I mean sure some folks go above and beyond in their professions which is great. But Im pretty sure there are assholes in every profession. 2) Having said that, is it really fair to compare the heroism of a fire fighter to the heroism of a FLORIST? Yes that was actually a show. How the fucking FLORIST is a HERO. Which is where they would have lost me had the nesting dolls been attractive.
-Ok the show is getting another slash because of HER. (the squirrel on the top)
Hint folks: If you want to make a lovable squirrel sidekick? Dont give her the personality of an annoying minnesota housewife. its not cute. Its like the mom who is way too invasive in her kids' personal lives so they all become these isolated emotional hostages in a horrifically closed family system (ok, granted she does remind me of a client's mom but I think i would have seen this in her regardless). She opens her mouth and instantly I feel the children (ugly nesting dolls) become more socially stunted. I think I need to make a hate wall with my most loathed children's tv characters (barney not withstaanding). She would definitely have her own bullseye.
- I bring up the Higgly town heroes because before the surgery, the doctor came in and mentioned that the little nesting dolls reminded him of weeble wobbles. Then he reminisced about how he used to punch the weeble wobbles when he was little. Really Dr? How cool. I was hoping that you would share a bit of your sadistic streak before taking my baby away from me and cutting into him. Thank you Dr. de Sade. Thank you much.
-But he came through great and even squeaked out "no thank yous" when he was trying to refuse treatment in recovery. Last night was a little hairy but i really think he is on the mend. Right now he is on the couch clinging to teddy and watching Tom and Jerry. He is being spoiled by relatives at every angle and Aunt Gret is as she said at his beck and call while he lounges.
Now I must go shopping so I can give them there alone time. Thanks again everyone for warm wishes and good thoughts! I heart my blogfriends!
- We arrived in a timely manner. I would like to take credit for being a responsible mom but truth be told, the only reason we made it was because there was ZERO traffic on the main strip and what normally takes fifteen minutes to drive took five. I did enjoy faking it for the surgery people though.
-Norm was AMAZING. The worst part for me was waiting for them to take him. They told us I couldnt go back and he did not cry but his little face scrunched up and I fell apart inside (but not outside thankfully). The nurses gave him a teddy bear to take in and he seemed ok with that. (nice to know i can be replaced with something really soft and furry) (don't get any ideas there gill). In fact, it prompted to make a satisfied declaration about his two favorite things, teddy bears and ninjas.
- The outpatient surgery place had this open kitchen with bagels, cream cheese, crackers (cheese on wheat) coffee and THREE KINDS OF SODA! It was awesome! Local folks, I highly recommend the place if you are ever in the area and need a free snack. Its crowded enough that if you are subtle, nobody will know you don't belong.
-Aunt Gret has been quite the doting and worried aunt which is working out super well for us. When she is nervous, she cleans. We came home at 11am to find the entire house spotless and clothes folded. Trust me, everybody in the world needs a friend like this. Right now she is coloring on the floor with Norm and he has completely stopped addressing me, directing all his requests to the more entertaining "beautiful face" (norm constantly refers to her face as such)(and she is, but he is so desperately romantic about it) of Aunt Gret.
- On a slightly disturbing note, we were watching Higgly Town Heroes before the surgery. I am going to use up a whole dash talking about this inane program. If you have never seen it, the characters look like this.
Now friends, I can get behind the nesting doll concept, but why do their faces need to be so ugly. They are just completely unattractive. And ive seen attractive nesting dolls so I know it can be done. The entire concept of the show is to look at different occupations and marvel at their everyday heroism. And when you think about it, this is a bothersome concept on a few levels. 1) First, as my cousin Larry points out, this is your JOB, and since you are paid to do it are you really a hero? I mean sure some folks go above and beyond in their professions which is great. But Im pretty sure there are assholes in every profession. 2) Having said that, is it really fair to compare the heroism of a fire fighter to the heroism of a FLORIST? Yes that was actually a show. How the fucking FLORIST is a HERO. Which is where they would have lost me had the nesting dolls been attractive.
-Ok the show is getting another slash because of HER. (the squirrel on the top)
Hint folks: If you want to make a lovable squirrel sidekick? Dont give her the personality of an annoying minnesota housewife. its not cute. Its like the mom who is way too invasive in her kids' personal lives so they all become these isolated emotional hostages in a horrifically closed family system (ok, granted she does remind me of a client's mom but I think i would have seen this in her regardless). She opens her mouth and instantly I feel the children (ugly nesting dolls) become more socially stunted. I think I need to make a hate wall with my most loathed children's tv characters (barney not withstaanding). She would definitely have her own bullseye.
- I bring up the Higgly town heroes because before the surgery, the doctor came in and mentioned that the little nesting dolls reminded him of weeble wobbles. Then he reminisced about how he used to punch the weeble wobbles when he was little. Really Dr? How cool. I was hoping that you would share a bit of your sadistic streak before taking my baby away from me and cutting into him. Thank you Dr. de Sade. Thank you much.
-But he came through great and even squeaked out "no thank yous" when he was trying to refuse treatment in recovery. Last night was a little hairy but i really think he is on the mend. Right now he is on the couch clinging to teddy and watching Tom and Jerry. He is being spoiled by relatives at every angle and Aunt Gret is as she said at his beck and call while he lounges.
Now I must go shopping so I can give them there alone time. Thanks again everyone for warm wishes and good thoughts! I heart my blogfriends!
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Home sweet home
Wow friends. You guys COMPLETELY rock. Your wishes and humor and sentiments were all greatly appreciated. It was a hell of a week. Im trying to pull together a last minute thursday thirteen about it. Gill is off in F-ing St. Mary's AGAIN! (they were great though while we were gone) I missed you all. Im lurking and catching up slowly but surely.....thank you all again for your thoughts and wishes and laughs...
Friday, March 02, 2007
Well here we are in Sunny Arizona. Gill are about to go cruising for free wireless internet. It’s been quite an adventure. It’s also probably a good time to tell you that we are here because Gill’s mom died. It was very sudden. She died in her sleep Tuesday night. I may or may not have alluded to this in the past but Gill and his mom were greatly estranged. Greatly estranged. Im not going to go into the whole thing here because I don’t want to be writing until I wake up Monday morning. I can tell you that she was extremely hostile towards me and personally? I was terrified of her. So you can imagine, its kind of odd to be here. Im feeling kind of scattered today and I knew I wanted to give you trip high-lights. Because of course you are have been wondering and waiting wringing your hands…
- Flying with children at night seemed like SUCH a great idea. Because well they will sleep the whole flight right? Hmm…not so much. Instead they will sleep maybe an hour. And tell you how bored they are. About a million times.
- Norm saw a gentleman walking down the aisle with a barf bag. When we explained what was happening, he took his own barf bag and somehow after coughing for fifteen minutes, elicited a barf of his own. He was quite pleased with himself after.
- The whole idea of letting your child under the age of two sit in your lap is a cruel joke by the airlines, perhaps to punish us for the free sodas and pretzels? Because really? What happens with that child is that he will crawl and flail and try to fondle the passengers in front of you who are already pissed because the attendant made them move so you didn’t have to leave your four year old alone in a row with two strangers. And he will also try to push every single button on the plane armrests between the seats numerous times. And open and shut the window shade. About a million times.
- We landed in Phoenix at 1130. We got to our hotel in Phoenix at 2am. (4am our time). And the children did not sleep. In essence? My children were up for almost 36 hours with about six hours of sleep. Those of you who have or have had small children? Or have been around tired small children? Sit back and picture that.
Oh friends, I had no idea what the word grueling truly meant until we took our children on a six hour cross country flight. We will be back next Wednesday morning but I plan on checking in as much as possible.
Before I go, I have an embarrassing confession to make. We are here hanging out with Gill’s dad, his sister, and her kids and I have to admit are the in-laws I always wanted. (on Gill’s side) I was always quite fond of both of them but we kept our distance because of Gill’s mom. My niece and nephew ROCK ASS. And this is the best trip Ive ever had here. I feel sooo guilty about it, but its true. I feel like a whole new world has opened up. And like Im going directly to a special place in hell for my “hi-ho the witch is dead” feelings. In my defense, I have not said that out loud. Except maybe to Gill. Who knew going in. Ok Im going back to my awesome family now.
- Flying with children at night seemed like SUCH a great idea. Because well they will sleep the whole flight right? Hmm…not so much. Instead they will sleep maybe an hour. And tell you how bored they are. About a million times.
- Norm saw a gentleman walking down the aisle with a barf bag. When we explained what was happening, he took his own barf bag and somehow after coughing for fifteen minutes, elicited a barf of his own. He was quite pleased with himself after.
- The whole idea of letting your child under the age of two sit in your lap is a cruel joke by the airlines, perhaps to punish us for the free sodas and pretzels? Because really? What happens with that child is that he will crawl and flail and try to fondle the passengers in front of you who are already pissed because the attendant made them move so you didn’t have to leave your four year old alone in a row with two strangers. And he will also try to push every single button on the plane armrests between the seats numerous times. And open and shut the window shade. About a million times.
- We landed in Phoenix at 1130. We got to our hotel in Phoenix at 2am. (4am our time). And the children did not sleep. In essence? My children were up for almost 36 hours with about six hours of sleep. Those of you who have or have had small children? Or have been around tired small children? Sit back and picture that.
Oh friends, I had no idea what the word grueling truly meant until we took our children on a six hour cross country flight. We will be back next Wednesday morning but I plan on checking in as much as possible.
Before I go, I have an embarrassing confession to make. We are here hanging out with Gill’s dad, his sister, and her kids and I have to admit are the in-laws I always wanted. (on Gill’s side) I was always quite fond of both of them but we kept our distance because of Gill’s mom. My niece and nephew ROCK ASS. And this is the best trip Ive ever had here. I feel sooo guilty about it, but its true. I feel like a whole new world has opened up. And like Im going directly to a special place in hell for my “hi-ho the witch is dead” feelings. In my defense, I have not said that out loud. Except maybe to Gill. Who knew going in. Ok Im going back to my awesome family now.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Because I have the best blog friends in the world....
Well friends, its been a dark day in the Panflutemaster house. Well a strange one anyway. Im not sure it's time to get into details....well...for several reasons. We are all ok though and are going to Arizona tomorrow for a week. So we have that going for us....Im sure I will have much to tell you from the land of dry heat but I had to take time to give a HUGE shout out to the grand mistress of dork for our VERY FIRST (un)official (not yet) licensed Dorkblogger PRODUCT!!! Jen...i smell a cottage industry sister! Thank you for brightening up a dark day my friend...
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Final TT for real hopefully
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1. My husband. My goofy wonderful amazing perfect match of a husband. I assure you gentle readers that we all thought I would end up with an abusive ex-con with a hair trigger temper. (that was at the height of my prison pen pal phase) (KIDDING there wasn’t a prison pen pal phase) (it was internet based) (KIDDING KIDDING KIDDING) |
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
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Sunday, February 18, 2007
Bittersweet Sunday
Ahhh...glorious sleep. Nothing gives a body fresh perspective like a lot of sleep. Some folks say you can have too much sleep? Friends? I ain't one of those folks! In fact even in these first few sentences Im thinking, heck! I think i might just type this post and head back in! Ok I stopped there and went back in. But it didnt take. (Norm lured me back out) So now we are sitting together watching the Avatar. Corn muffins in the oven. Eatin' licorice. Here are some dash slash weekend highlights.
-GILL IS HOME. For five more hours. I know what you are thinking. What am I doing talking to you folks when I should be soaking up the essense of gill. Well I am doing both! Have I told you folks how absolutely adorable Gill is? ahhhhh....
-Slept in bliss for a good part of yesterday. Odd dreams but sooo rested! (although suddenly Im not quite sure there isnt more sleep in me. Must...finish...post!)
-Had a great little dissertation distraction with our own Luckybuzz.
-Went to movies and dinner with me man. Saw Pan's Labyrinth. Dark. Interesting. Glad we saw it.
-Had serious deep conversations with Gill. Making me fall in love with him all over again.
-Came home and profusely thanked Gretty until we got distracted by the new episode of "Ned's Declassified". We think she left shortly after this. If she was disgusted by us, we sadly did not notice.
-Intermittent yowza time throughout the night. Yowza!
-Snuggled on the couch and watch "The Birds".
-Went to bed at 2am. Happy. Content. Sleepy.
-Now it is Sunday. Four hours left. First report was he would be staying away now until the project was done. Desperate negotiations have hopefully earned me the 29 hour reprieve once a week. F-ing st. mary's.....
ok sorry if this was too gooey. Back to sleep...
-GILL IS HOME. For five more hours. I know what you are thinking. What am I doing talking to you folks when I should be soaking up the essense of gill. Well I am doing both! Have I told you folks how absolutely adorable Gill is? ahhhhh....
-Slept in bliss for a good part of yesterday. Odd dreams but sooo rested! (although suddenly Im not quite sure there isnt more sleep in me. Must...finish...post!)
-Had a great little dissertation distraction with our own Luckybuzz.
-Went to movies and dinner with me man. Saw Pan's Labyrinth. Dark. Interesting. Glad we saw it.
-Had serious deep conversations with Gill. Making me fall in love with him all over again.
-Came home and profusely thanked Gretty until we got distracted by the new episode of "Ned's Declassified". We think she left shortly after this. If she was disgusted by us, we sadly did not notice.
-Intermittent yowza time throughout the night. Yowza!
-Snuggled on the couch and watch "The Birds".
-Went to bed at 2am. Happy. Content. Sleepy.
-Now it is Sunday. Four hours left. First report was he would be staying away now until the project was done. Desperate negotiations have hopefully earned me the 29 hour reprieve once a week. F-ing st. mary's.....
ok sorry if this was too gooey. Back to sleep...
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Why have I not died as a result of my own stupidity?
I lost my keys last night. Normal occurrence for most folks, yes. How i lost them? Is why Im a Dorkblogger During the cabin fever hell yesterday, I went outside and opened the trunk. Put the keys in my pocket when I went back inside. Ok if I forgot about them? That would be fine. But I didnt forget friends. No I did not. Instead I thought no less than six times during the day, "man its a bad idea to leave these keys in my pocket" and then proceeded to ignore myself. I believe I may have even called myself an idiot for letting them be out of place because as we know my tracking/survival skills are not what youd call....refined. Instead, I waited until six o clock at night right before plow guy showed up. I decided to change out of shorts (thinking it might be a little insulting to open the door in shorts to greet a man whod been trekking through snow all day) and remembered the keys. I remembered a huge sense of "OH GOD DO NOT LOSE YOUR KEYS" Then nothing. My domestic goddess gretty (who gets infinite thank yous for digging us out of our chaos today! I LOVE me that gretty!) spent the entire day looking. Seconds after she left, I went into my bedroom and re-enacted putting my pants on. Sure enough, they were under a pile of clothes on the dresser. Because that is where they stopped the second I forgot about them. SOME DAYS I HATE MY BRAIN!!! (AND I LB I THINK I MIGHT NOT JUST BE ANNOYED WITH IT, I THINK I REALLY DO HATE IT) But all's well that ends well....
In other news, Gretty found eggs and Iced Cookie Guy dodged ANOTHER money collection for next week's chinese food at the meeting. The good news is my people have decided to throw an en masse temper tantrum if he tries to eat without paying. A real old-fashioned gang and shame! Ill keep you posted!
Finally a shout out to my blogcrush Trixie who did her very own Thursday Thirteen today! As one of her devoted stalkers? I can tell you it is a delightful read, so go give Trixie a love up ok?
In other news, Gretty found eggs and Iced Cookie Guy dodged ANOTHER money collection for next week's chinese food at the meeting. The good news is my people have decided to throw an en masse temper tantrum if he tries to eat without paying. A real old-fashioned gang and shame! Ill keep you posted!
Finally a shout out to my blogcrush Trixie who did her very own Thursday Thirteen today! As one of her devoted stalkers? I can tell you it is a delightful read, so go give Trixie a love up ok?
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
the sunny valentine post
Ok seriously. Im not gritting my teeth when i smile here. Yes, I did abruptly abandon the liveblog yesterday (much like those creepy cabins in the woods that are totally deserted with all the food still on the table, a calendar from like ten years ago and cobwebs). Yes my reasons for abandoning were similarly horrific. Yes things are still rather dark here on the homestead. But you will read all about that in my thursday thirteen. Because it is valentine's day. And I have a lot of things to be grateful for today so Im going to list them.
-These kids. These kids who are slowly and deliberately pushing me towards committing some kind of crime against society just so i can go to jail and trade this madness for three hots and a cot. I cant believe how lucky i am to have these kids. As crazy as being snowed in makes me, it cannot shut out the swelling in my heart when they are engaged in a giggle fest and falling all over each other like little puppies in the silliness. Like a cherry on my love sundae? Norm actually agreed to try to put the turnip's diaper on (after some naked time)....is that a ray of light in the distance?
-Gill. My soul-mate and partner in crime and other unholy things. Even though you are eating a steak dinner as i write this while picking on cold macaroni noodles, you are still the cat's meow baby. Besides who can resist a man whose valentine started out with the words "what the crap?"...aw...man of my heart.
-All my awesome valentines! You guys rock and are the best damn valentine johns a shameless V-Day whore could ask for...in answer to the anonymous query...yes you can touch my clothes after i disrobe, and for a reasonable price too....email me!
- My totally rocking friends just rock. Much can be said. But you all know who you are and why you rock.
-Super shout out to my friend Julie who I need to TOTALLY thank for the baby sleeping advice. She asked about it today and I was hit once again with how much this changed my life. Last time we were out (yeah she was the friend accosted in the liquor store by my dream date), she gave me some tips to keep the turnip in bed all night. Damn if they didnt work and we have not gotten him up since! You are a Rockstar Julie! Stay tuned for more Julie as she is pee your pants funny and im trying to hang out with her more
-My dad. Who spent time and energy trying to find a snow solution when the snow plow fairies were avoiding me.
-Dirt! Oh people please. You didnt think i gave up on this did you? Could this show rock harder? Well lets tune in next week and find out!
-And we cant have a gratitude list without of course....tivo. Enough said....
-These kids. These kids who are slowly and deliberately pushing me towards committing some kind of crime against society just so i can go to jail and trade this madness for three hots and a cot. I cant believe how lucky i am to have these kids. As crazy as being snowed in makes me, it cannot shut out the swelling in my heart when they are engaged in a giggle fest and falling all over each other like little puppies in the silliness. Like a cherry on my love sundae? Norm actually agreed to try to put the turnip's diaper on (after some naked time)....is that a ray of light in the distance?
-Gill. My soul-mate and partner in crime and other unholy things. Even though you are eating a steak dinner as i write this while picking on cold macaroni noodles, you are still the cat's meow baby. Besides who can resist a man whose valentine started out with the words "what the crap?"...aw...man of my heart.
-All my awesome valentines! You guys rock and are the best damn valentine johns a shameless V-Day whore could ask for...in answer to the anonymous query...yes you can touch my clothes after i disrobe, and for a reasonable price too....email me!
- My totally rocking friends just rock. Much can be said. But you all know who you are and why you rock.
-Super shout out to my friend Julie who I need to TOTALLY thank for the baby sleeping advice. She asked about it today and I was hit once again with how much this changed my life. Last time we were out (yeah she was the friend accosted in the liquor store by my dream date), she gave me some tips to keep the turnip in bed all night. Damn if they didnt work and we have not gotten him up since! You are a Rockstar Julie! Stay tuned for more Julie as she is pee your pants funny and im trying to hang out with her more
-My dad. Who spent time and energy trying to find a snow solution when the snow plow fairies were avoiding me.
-Dirt! Oh people please. You didnt think i gave up on this did you? Could this show rock harder? Well lets tune in next week and find out!
-And we cant have a gratitude list without of course....tivo. Enough said....
Monday, February 05, 2007
later...that same day...
For those of you who dont go to dorkblogger....or havent seen this in another context...this is also affecting my mood....and gill says, "you need to stop telling people i did it with pampered chef kitchen shears" ....and then he pulls out a pair of child safety scissors....
Gret made a little leaf crown for him and as soon as we get new batteries for the camera we will have caligula pictures for you....
but seriously im in a much better mood...had a lovely chat with dr. trixie, took a nice nap, and got some sweet boylove (having it come from a butchered little wreck of a toddler makes it no less sweet)
Friday, February 02, 2007
For Moe...And Owie....And well a lot of other people too now that i think about it...
It is 12:51 pm on Friday Feb 2. The next 12 hours or so are the one year anniversary of the last time she could try to tell herself everything would be ok. Its leukemia. And he was not yet two years old. Now he is not yet three and they have been fighting this battle a year.The drs reports say he is going to be ok. She doesnt actually believe this i dont think. I dont think she will ever believe this again. I want to tell you about her. She doesnt read my blog although she is a Best Friend. Why? Because I never told her about it because Im terrified its insulting to have her exposed to my whiny self indulgent complaints when she is facing this every day. She was always part of my tribe, it seems. She is a beautiful neurotic mess who would break laws with me in dark cars and alleys and who could invariably make us both laugh hard enough we could pee ourselves in any given situation. I married far away but she was one of my first phone calls to spring the surprise....I was in her wedding. In fact we all jumped on her wedding bed together after the reception. She was there when Norm was born. Actually she was the first non-parent/non-professional to hold him and we both laughed nervously because she is the kind of friend you didnt have to convince you had any more idea than she did about this little alien helpless creature. And then I was there when owie was born. I met him before he was named. And then when the turnip popped into the world with his huge scary chaos those first few days, she was one of the few people who got to see him before they shipped us away for a week. When she came back to hold him a few weeks later, Owie got his first black eye on our coffee table.
I remember the night. Technically it was the third. I remember she sent us all the email at 1am, i cant remember if i read it that night or the next morning but i remember i had tracked her down and was at the hospital that next afternoon. It was snowing and raining and we smoked her cigarette outside while i struggled to find the right things to say. What i love about her is that we knew each other well that she could shoot down all my cliches without sarcasm or resentment or annoyance. And we both realized there was no way this didnt suck. We told ourselves all the things like the drs say its the best kind of cancer. It would be a rough road but eventually he would recover and live a normal life. And then we started to realize that this wasnt happening to someone else. This was happening to us. And our Best Friend Kathleen was pissed. She lost her daughter three days after birth six years ago and was really angry because she thought this should have protected Moe. Because she took it on the chin for all of us. And you know what? I think we all kind of thought that too. It just didnt make sense. The next two weeks of hospital was kind of a blur. It was extremely intense and i forced myself in there every day not for them but for me. I needed to be there. I needed to bring stupidity gifts like chocolate and trashy magazines and she made it normal for us by cracking jokes and making it a day by day thing so it wasnt so big. And it made it hurt less if i was there because she still made me laugh til i wanted to pee. I can count at least three times she did that those weeks. Then chemo started and they disappeared behind closed doors to protect from the germs. And we wait and watch and worry and when we see her we hug her as hard as we can and try to create some sort of healing love power to make this right.
Ive cried a lot this week. For Her and and for Trixie who had to defy all mom instincts and let her child go someplace really scarey. And then I cried some more with a patient's mom over the powerlessness we have to protect them (no worries Madame F. It was a contained empathic cry. No racking sobs from me. I like to think of it as more of a therapeutic intervention than a cry. Like the opposite of tough love...its creamPUFF love) And I cried for Ash because it never should have been that way for her because she is so damn amazing. And for Best Friend Gret who is childless biologically but is petrified because she cant protect her little person from the little person's mother who Gret tried so hard to protect for the past 25 years. Maybe its going to be ok though? Because we can keep laughing and loving and hoping and crying together. And because i cant look at a world where its not going to be ok. Not today.
I remember the night. Technically it was the third. I remember she sent us all the email at 1am, i cant remember if i read it that night or the next morning but i remember i had tracked her down and was at the hospital that next afternoon. It was snowing and raining and we smoked her cigarette outside while i struggled to find the right things to say. What i love about her is that we knew each other well that she could shoot down all my cliches without sarcasm or resentment or annoyance. And we both realized there was no way this didnt suck. We told ourselves all the things like the drs say its the best kind of cancer. It would be a rough road but eventually he would recover and live a normal life. And then we started to realize that this wasnt happening to someone else. This was happening to us. And our Best Friend Kathleen was pissed. She lost her daughter three days after birth six years ago and was really angry because she thought this should have protected Moe. Because she took it on the chin for all of us. And you know what? I think we all kind of thought that too. It just didnt make sense. The next two weeks of hospital was kind of a blur. It was extremely intense and i forced myself in there every day not for them but for me. I needed to be there. I needed to bring stupidity gifts like chocolate and trashy magazines and she made it normal for us by cracking jokes and making it a day by day thing so it wasnt so big. And it made it hurt less if i was there because she still made me laugh til i wanted to pee. I can count at least three times she did that those weeks. Then chemo started and they disappeared behind closed doors to protect from the germs. And we wait and watch and worry and when we see her we hug her as hard as we can and try to create some sort of healing love power to make this right.
Ive cried a lot this week. For Her and and for Trixie who had to defy all mom instincts and let her child go someplace really scarey. And then I cried some more with a patient's mom over the powerlessness we have to protect them (no worries Madame F. It was a contained empathic cry. No racking sobs from me. I like to think of it as more of a therapeutic intervention than a cry. Like the opposite of tough love...its creamPUFF love) And I cried for Ash because it never should have been that way for her because she is so damn amazing. And for Best Friend Gret who is childless biologically but is petrified because she cant protect her little person from the little person's mother who Gret tried so hard to protect for the past 25 years. Maybe its going to be ok though? Because we can keep laughing and loving and hoping and crying together. And because i cant look at a world where its not going to be ok. Not today.
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