umm....no...its not

Ok friends, a little PSA for you all. Most of you know I do work in the mental health field. You probably do not know that I had a cognate in ethics in grad school. So...I feel safe in saying, if you are seeing a therapist and this happens? Well, Im just going to let you know, its pretty clear within ethical boundaries of this profession that such behavior is right up there with "take off your pants and let me be your mommy" or "Touching my penis and allowing me to have sex with you will help you overcome your intimacy fears". I figured since this is clearly a grey area, you might want to hear it from a trained professional. Yes, yes you are very welcome.
PS: In case any of my real life readers are nostalgically remembering embarrassing things about the early 90s? I do want to mention that I wasnt even thinking about being a psych major yet when the whole domme thing came up....

Another Jesse MeMe

Because my blog also has deteriorated into us all asking ourselves "how much do we actually need to know about CRSE?" I am doing this Jesse MeMe. I am making a personal resolution to balance every MeMe or internet quiz with an actual post. Bear in mind my other personal resolutions include managing my money better, maintaining an effective exercise program, sticking to a vitamin regimen, being more punctual and cleaning up after myself more regularly so dont get your hopes up.

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Experienced daylight at 11pm
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea - from the shore
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby's diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse

29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently well enough to have a decent conversation
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone's heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad
135. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone's life

you want the truth?

Ok because I have a pampered chef party that starts in 7 hours. Because my turnip is a grumpy little bitch this morning. Because my fans have clamored. Be ready. The lies are: (drum roll please)

#4. Gill and I met in a strange twist o fate kind of way that did not involve advertising, but did involve LB and Erthy and many other people and their paths crossing by chance.

#6 The crush is actually on Tom Brokaw.

#11 I. love. dogs!

Stories for other items available upon request.

Dont feel bad friends. I AM that good of a liar.

Mt. Lemmon

This post is a tribute to the fabulous Jesse because well....he is fabulous...

Once upon a time there was a girl who lived on a mountain. Ok that's kind of lame. And it begs a lot of questions. That might be a good way to do this? As a question/answer format!

Q: How the hell did you end up on a mountain?
A: Well....thats a good question. I kind of moved there for a girl. A beautiful blond fairy (who happens to be one of my boys' fairy godmother's to this day) who got me a job in the cafe where she worked. I brought some baggage with me including the boy I loved (Gill Smoke), a meth head, Norm's namesake, a baby (spawn of meth-head), and two german shepards. (One of whom had a GLARING PERSONALITY DISORDER).

Q: And what mountain was this?
A: This was Mt. Lemmon Arizona, in a little town called Summerhaven pop. 54 (?). 28 miles and 7500 feet above Tucson.

Q: Was it beautiful? Or haunted?
A: Yes and Yes.

Q: Did you love it or hate it?
A: Yes and Yes.

Q: Were there any strange characters there?
A: Oh yes. We had a friend whose name was Julie Ware and when people asked her "Julie Who?" she would reply "No, julie ware". That never got old. We also got to know the guy who owned A Certain Frozen Pizza empire". He was a raging alcoholic and always wore a shirt that made him look like a cross between Freddy Kruger and a bumble bee.

Q: What was the best part of living on the mountain?
A: The amazing amazing sunsets. Living in a resort area. People go there to relax for a reason.

Q: What was the worst part?
A: The distance from civilization. I would fantasize about going to the grocery store and being home without the trip consuming an entire afternoon. Being poor. Not having transportation. Everyone knowing your business. The bears. Everything closing by ten.

Q: What were the weirdest parts?
A: Being so close to death. People were constantly dying on the way up and down the mountain. Being so isolated from "town".
That and Lesbian Country Keraoke night. Especially when the couple that ran it would be fighting. Then the one partner would belt out drunken versions of Patsy Cline songs all night long. It was a bit depressing to say the least.

Q: What are the biggest regrets involving the mountain?
A: NOt being kinder to the people i loved while I was up there (see above beautiful fairy and boy I love). Losing touch with Mark Roller (who interestingly hails from Minneapolis as well and is also the funniest guy Ive ever met and also who still influences the sense of humor in our marriage to this day)

Q: What was the greatest learning experience?
A: Learning that I am mean when Im depressed. Learning to belly dance (still not that good at it, but im thinking about revisiting it...). Learning to read tarot, and learning it scared the hell out of me. Learning way way too much about home-made beer making.

Thus concludes another scintillating tale from the files of crse. Great questions folks, feel free to ask more if there is anything I didnt cover. My life is an open book. Just ask dirty louie.