I want to blame the illness but in my darkest heart, I fear and know the illness is only a mask. I think if I had more free time and television control, this could easily become my life. It's too late for me friends, but to make sure this doesn't happen to any of you, here are warning signs to look for:
- You are bummed on the weekends because you know the congress segments are all reruns.
- You watch the segments anyway in case they are showing different parts you might have missed.
- You become giddy when you see they are re-showing an oversights committee hearing involving Roger Clemens testimony on steroids.
- You plan your day around the hearing.
- You find yourself holding your bladder until the fifteen minute break so you won't have to miss anything.
- While trying to rest and listen, you are playing your own personal guessing game of trying to figure out the political leanings of each representative based on their line of questioning.
- You have stats for the game.
- You won't be able to play much longer because you are starting recognize reps by their voices without even looking at the screen.
- You become enraged with other reps and shout insults at the screen between fits of coughing. (you subsequently get an unpleasant glimpse about what being old is going to look like for you)
- You find yourself repeatedly fantasizing about how, if an oversights committee ever got shitty with you during whatever hearing you might be subpoenaed to, you would suck up all their allotted time being argumentative and chastising them for rudeness.
- You realize that maybe just maybe, your crush on Russ Feingold isn't...well...normal.
On the positive side, Ive made my decision for the primary. More later....right now I have to get back to catch Vladimir Putin....