Sunday, February 17, 2008

Signs of personality deterioration or "you might be watching too much c-span if...."

I want to blame the illness but in my darkest heart, I fear and know the illness is only a mask. I think if I had more free time and television control, this could easily become my life. It's too late for me friends, but to make sure this doesn't happen to any of you, here are warning signs to look for:

- You are bummed on the weekends because you know the congress segments are all reruns.
- You watch the segments anyway in case they are showing different parts you might have missed.
- You become giddy when you see they are re-showing an oversights committee hearing involving Roger Clemens testimony on steroids.
- You plan your day around the hearing.
- You find yourself holding your bladder until the fifteen minute break so you won't have to miss anything.
- While trying to rest and listen, you are playing your own personal guessing game of trying to figure out the political leanings of each representative based on their line of questioning.
- You have stats for the game.
- You won't be able to play much longer because you are starting recognize reps by their voices without even looking at the screen.
- You become enraged with other reps and shout insults at the screen between fits of coughing. (you subsequently get an unpleasant glimpse about what being old is going to look like for you)
- You find yourself repeatedly fantasizing about how, if an oversights committee ever got shitty with you during whatever hearing you might be subpoenaed to, you would suck up all their allotted time being argumentative and chastising them for rudeness.
- You realize that maybe just maybe, your crush on Russ Feingold isn't...well...normal.

On the positive side, Ive made my decision for the primary. More later....right now I have to get back to catch Vladimir Putin....


sega said...

you need dvr so you can record things... or pause live tv... it will change your life... glad u r feeling somewhat better...

Maggie said...

I too have a crush on Russ Feingold.

I love you, crse.

The Mistress of the Dark said...

I can't believe our gov't is wasting time and money on baseball and steroids. That is a true waste of taxpayer dollars.

adjunct whore said...

this immediately reminded me of watching the oj simpson trial. i was pregnant with my daughter and was completely glued to the tv. and you know how much you have to pee when pregnant.

i also watched all three godfathers, once upon a time in america (i used to LOVE these movies), and i think some other cheesy shit, but i can't recall.

god i love spacing to tv sometimes.

Ash said...


Ash said...

If you are not dead, then I urge you to fucking post! If you are, in fact dead, then come haunt me!

Stinkbait Boucher said...

spring is so very close.

sega said...

come on already!!!!!!!!