Monday, January 07, 2008

Monday Musings

Sometimes a fifty cent bag of caramels seems like a much better deal than it actually turns out to be.

If you are in a long term relationship and you love your partner, you might want to think about the implied cruelty of telling them they have a big glop of chocolate candy on their left butt-cheek pant leg when they are getting up to give an announcement in church and are completely powerless to do anything about it.

White-out. I have never had a good relationship with white-out. I have hopes that it will turn out like cream cheese and the office supply version of the secret answer to 25 years of squishing the cream cheese out of the package in a time consuming, messy and largely unproductive manner will suddenly become evident. I need the white out secret answer.

"knock knock"
who's there?
"ketchup"
ketchup who?
I dont know!

there is something unspeakably profound to be discovered in the knock knock joke of a two year old.

So guitar hero turns out to be a dark mistress. I should have seen trouble coming during the prison show when i had the rock battle with slash from guns n roses. But after spending two frustrating days trying to figure out how to get past the creepy looking unwashed plumber guy who shamed me mercilessly in the first battle, my relatively quick success with slash lulled me into a false sense of confidence. Things started to go really badly in Japan (note: the Japanese guitar hero fans are much less forgiving and mannerly than the fellows at the prison when a song falls apart. I was appalled. I thought Japanese culture was more genteel than this!) At around 1am I found myself face to face with a battle for my soul. The worst part? The battle involves a song list that could easily been constructed in a personal nightmare. (you know the one....you cant find any pants and every where you go people are serving food you don't like for dinner.) At that point I went to bed. Ill keep you posted.

For the record, as Ive alluded to several times, I am also harboring an addiction to the nintendo game "brain age". I am currently obsessed with "virus busters" which appears to be a very low tech version of atari's space invaders (there are no stars...)

ok friends thats all I got. Gill is making me battle for my soul. He is certain I will lose as "I am not quite evil enough"

Good night and godspeed friends...

8 comments:

ZigZagMan said...

I bought guitar hero for my son a year ago.......his face is now on the back of milk cartons nation wide...though I'm sure he's in the house someplace......:)

The Mistress of the Dark said...

I'm so glad I could never stand most video games... My nephew has guitar hero...and most of the time I want to bash the guitar over his head to make the game go away

gretty said...

I feel an intervention coming on.

Bunny said...

I want a Wii

Ash said...

Dude, I got Tom Guitar Hero for christmas. I spend more time on it then he does, and I just bought myself my very own wireless guitar. it's damn addicting!

luckybuzz said...

I still don't understand why people don't just learn to play the damn guitar. But I'm old and cantankerous.

And I think that "I don't know" should be the answer to every knock-knock joke.

crse said...

Zig- one day your son will thank you for the joy you brought him through this amazing gift.
MOTD- wow.
Gretty- You say that now but once you play....well..you will understand
Bunny- Oh sister, it changed my life. CHANGED MY LIFE.
Ash- Sweetie, I considered getting another guitar but i find it easier just to forbid everyone else to touch my game.
LB- This brings up a really good point. In reality I have no desire to learn the actual guitar. I think the strings would hurt my fingers. For the record? I found guitar hero to be the absolute stupidest concept Id ever encountered before i played it. I used to mock the game without mercy. Ive fallen my friend. Fallen deep into a pit of helpless addiction. BUT I BEAT LUCIFER!!!

Mert said...

I think it's awesome that video game addiction isn't just for 10 yr olds anymore :D My husband has xbox 360 and ps3 and he spends more time talking with online guys than talking to me... and yet it keeps him sane after almost 20 years together. I talk to my own online friends via blogging... and I am addicted to The Sims 2;)