Thursday, July 19, 2007

Thursday Thirteen Camping Edition

I know I should have blogged before about the trip and ONCE AGAIN Im so far behind on your blogs it breaks me heart! How do I even begin to tell you about the weekend. Chocolate Vodka, apple pucker and citron. Lots and Lots of junk food. Best summed up in a thursday thirteen to be sure:

1. It is very impolite to start eating other food when a group of people start to sing happy birthday to you.
2. It is even more impolite to interrupt someone who is spilling their heart out to borrow batteries because the confessor just looks so darn pretty in the firelight.
3. I have really really hot friends. Some of them like to be naked and some of them are happier leaving their clothes on. Im not naming names.
4. When bears attack, the important thing is to save the liquor. Then go for the electronics. But if you have to make a sacrifice, just save the liquor.
5. Gretty is very mean if you try to sleep in her bed. She is not too generous with the space and she pokes you everytime she hears you snore. If you sleep with gretty, you will spend a good portion of the night clinging to the edge of the bed trying to be quiet. On the other hand, you will have no qualms about posting pictures like this to pay her back:

6. Then again, my dearest friend Roxie did absolutely nothing to warrant the posting of this picture, but frankly i thought her pose was almost artistic, sort of like the demi moore cover of vanity fair. She is not puking, she is standing up from her piss.

7. Moe thinks that she is a bad bed mate because she snores. Moe's snoring did not keep me awake at all. However, she does flail around like a flamingo on amphetamines. But she does not poke you meanly when you snore. Which means she is a good room-mate. And does not get embarrassing pictures of her posted. Gretty.
8. Fire and toileting. My two very favorite things. Introducing the destroylet, a propane toilet:
I tried to get the flames but my timing was bad.
9. One thing I love about my friends is that we could all be sitting around and someone could blurt out something like "I have abnormal sexual thoughts about molesting kangaroos" (or something just as off the wall)and everyone will nod understandingly and no matter what it is, someone will jump in and say "Yeah that happens to me sometimes."
10. Why I will never make a successful vegetarian: "What is it that you don't like in the dish?" "Well, I think its the flavor that tastes like pre-digested vomit"
11. Feather is the absolutely perfect person to have around to deal with unsettling smells in the wild. For example, when i smell rancid chicken lard, she smells home cooking. When I smell what appears to be the result of bait and hot food stored too closely together, she smells home cooking.
12. Freaky step-ladders, lots of vodka, and bad knees do not a pleasant end of the evening make.
13. My wimmin rock ASS!!!!!

NOw Im off to the mountains again with my in-laws for some old fashioned ash spreading. (Im starting to think of gill's family as the folks who put the fun in funeral)


Canada said...

The "fun" in funeral!!!!! LMAO!!

So . . . number 3 . . . which category do you fall into?

Good job on saving the booze - tanked up bears would not be pretty, hungover ones even worse!!

Remind me to tall you about the three ring circus of snoring, earplugs, grumbling, and my trying to pretend to be asleep through the whole thing (in seaside twon in March). Gotta run now, tho.

Have fun in the wilderness :)

Bunny said...

Flamingo on amphetamines - heading to zoo with Ritalin to see this for myself.

Fun in funeral - LOL

Gretty should spend one night with my husband. Not sex, just try to sleep. Gawd, the snoring is awful and NOTHING wakes him up. Then again, maybe she could tame him. Great revenge shot!!

RockDog said...

Flaming toilets??? Oh, this deserves a post of its own!!!

luckybuzz said...

#9 is why I love y'all most. :)

(OMFG my word verification is WRDORKET! Can you see the "dork" hiding in there? OMG!)

Jay said...

Always save the liquor! Good plan.

Um ... "some of them like to be naked"?

I was just making sure I read that right. ;-)

Camping is fun. I guess it is, I've never been. haha

gretty said...

Yikes! We have to be even now, right?

Mert said...

The fun in funeral! LMAO!

I'm jealous of you and yur wimmin camping! Sounds like you all had a blast. :D

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Damn right, save the liquor. However I wouldn't ever be anywhere near the bears so I wouldn't have to worry.

crse said...

Canada- just wait till you hear about this last trip. Number 3 is totally no comment!
Bunny-Great revenge for both of them!
Rockdog- you have NO IDEA how amazed I was at this. I thought id died and gone to a special crse heaven because how else could two of my favorite things be combined like that?
LB- I KNOW!!! (the blogoverse calls to you my sweet)
Jay- Yeah you read that right. And im not so much about the camping is fun thing. Sleeping in my own bed at night is really really fun.
Gret- yeah...this time.
Mert- You would have fit in well sweetie!