Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Random Tuesday Thoughts

* Chocolate Honeycombs were a huge disappointment to me. I felt truly defiled after trying them.

* I had a small epiphany today about feeding my old bread to the wildlife in my back yard. It occurred when as I was looking for something to make a sandwich with I pulled out a loaf of bread that i love in toast form but not so much in sandwich form. (actually Im a bun girl. People might not know that about me....Which reminds me, I wonder what it means that I dreamt last night that I remembered to grab the left over buns Madame Fabu offered me from mini-fabu's birthday party on saturday. It was a really good dream.)The bread was covered in white "stuff". After my initial reaction of grossed outedness, my second thought was "now this is the kind of bread that makes a person see God. This is like Revelations inspiring bread." And my third thought was just a vision of a bunch of scared and confused stoned out of their minds birds, chipmunks and squirrels trying to negotiate the last few days of uncovered ground before the winter. I cant believe i never thought of this before. I feel like the Jim Jones of small woodland creatures.

* I think my "better with butter" strategy was not such a good idea after all. (for those who don't recall, I developed this theory around the time of the turnip's birth that since margarine is bad for you and butter is bad for you, if I just indulged in the butter, I would feel more satisfied and ultimately cut down my cream type spread usage) Two years and several previously inexplicable pounds of weight gain later, Im starting to think I may have missed a flaw in that particular logical process.

*Having said that, I just now realized that if you melt a tablespoon of margarine and drip it on top of frozen pretzels, it not only tastes delicious but offers a delightful alternative to the "wet your pretzel" method Ive been struggling with since the dawn of frozen hot pretzels. Disclaimer: Oh I can wet yer pretzel baby...just not if it comes packaged frozen with disjointed instructions for salt application.

* Needless to say, this little experiment begs the question, would the pretzels taste even better with real butter?

* Which leads me to confess to the most dramatic aspertame relapse Ive had since my initial recovery. It was safe crisis management training friends. I had to be there at 8AM. There were limited caffeinating options. I am so weak.

*Ah but yet I am not! I felt pretty ass kicking good about the "physical assist" part of the training. My friend Micky may have been completely humoring me but it worked. And Spike (who was our trainer) was positive about all the ones he evaluated except for the escape holds. (which in fairness, he was positive about. He was praising of the form but did point out that they were completely wrong. He even stopped short of the fact that the only way I could probably get away using these forms would be if my attacker peed his pants from laughing. Micky, however, went ahead and took the obvious shot)

* I will elaborate at length about the training soon but will tell you that with just a little polishing I truly believe I could totally kick ass both at christmas brunch (or linner as my brother is calling it as it's moved to later in the day) when sibling stuff arises and at social drinking occasions as well. Just wait til spring season!

* I need to figure out how to remove corrosive battery residue from my sonicare innards. Its the dark side of my happy toothbrush world and I never expected to see it.

* I miss my blog friends. Thank you so much for not giving up on me. My Christmas present to myself is to catch up on you folks.


RockDog said...

Choco honeycombs no good? I am speechless...!

Pippajo said...

First, EVERYTHING is better with butter. Remember that. And I'm with you on the "if margarine is bad for me and butter is bad for me, I'm going for butter" idea. I feel the same way about diet drinks. Artificial sweeteners are bad for me, sugar is bad for me, so I'm going with the drink that doesn't take like formaldehyde! Not that I have any idea what formaldehyde tastes like. Or how to spell it correctly. I'm just guessing.

Second, how was your Thanksgiving? I'm sure all kinds of hi-jinks ensued. I'd like a report please. Two pages, double spaced.

Jay said...

That was some pretty random randomness.

I have never heard of frozen pretzels, but I'm sure they're better with butter. What isn't?

Ash said...

I may not comment everytime, but I read every single post. I am still here.

1) Chocolate honeycombs are disgusting, same with oreo cereal. Oreo cereal was expected to taste divine, instead it was just ...wrong.

I smoke and I drink. What's a little butter or margerine?

luckybuzz said...

Two things:

We switched to butter years ago and never looked back. If you're actually worried about it, there's light butter--I think it tastes the same. Margarine is the devil's work. (Ask GB sometime...he'll tell you how bad all those polymers and crap in there are.)

"The Jim Jones of small woodland creatures." I think this should be your new blog subtitle.

Oh, I lied--#3: I'm glad you're blogging more. I like reading you. :)

Jenny Ryan said...

I feel like the Jim Jones of small woodland creatures.

ROCK ON! O purveyor of hallucinatory wildlife delights!

ZigZagMan said...

Butter melts off a knife in hot water...margarine turns a weird white color with sinister rainbow oilslick drippings.......nuff said!! :)

Good to see ya back buddy!! :)

Stinkbait Boucher said...

"I feel like the Jim Jones of small woodland creatures."

and then...

"Its the dark side of my happy toothbrush world and I never expected to see it."

You spent two genius nuggets in one post. What were you thinking? You need to spread this stuff out.

The dark side of your happy toothbrush? Fucking brilliant. Sorry - no joke here. Just fucking brilliant.

Well played.

gretty said...

Rubbing alcohol and a q-tip is all you need to get battery "rust" out of your toothbrush.

Bunny said...

Butter is always better. There is no such thing as good margarine.

Try vinegar on the battery corrosive gunk. Or is it baking soda? Heck, mix 'em together and let the fun begin! If that doesn't work, CLR probably would.