Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Tuesday Twelve

Because Im way behind on the tts, and because its probably not all that effective to deal with the last three hours of baby tantrum by screaming in the same high pitched tone back in the turnip's face or offering up phrases like " "Melmo hates mean babies" and "Shut your DAMM pIIIIEEEE holllle". And also because Norm responded to my warning that im a woman on the edge with "no you arent, you are a woman with your straight eyes open" Im clearly in need of a smile list.

Twelve things that make me smile:

1. Screaming "Shut yer damm pie hole" at my two year old.

2. Having my five year old jump in and scream it with me. (ok this isnt my "how am i mother of the year" list so back off)

3. The season premiere of "The Office".

4. Premium Cable On Demand. Who thought of this? Because it is FUCKING BRILLIANT.

5. Avoiding a Chuck E. Cheese birthday party only to have gill share the conversation he walked into between my friend T and someone else as he arrived at the party:
T: How come all the husbands get out of these things? (notices gill approaching) I see the husband in your relationship got out of it too.

(T, if you are reading this I SWEAR I was legitimately falling asleep mid conversation)

6. Norm just now approaching me shyly, in dead seriousness, and asking in the most conversational tone, "Can I smell your armpits?"

7. Being able to scream the lyrics to "I think I love you" by the partridge family at the top of my lungs in my car after finding a lost mix cd.

8. Lindsay Lohan finally committing to sobriety. I pray for that girl every day. (ok that statement was for my own amusement)

9. The turnip counting to 20:
....un....feee...feee...feee....nine..nine...nine...fee..eight.. un...un...un...eighteen... eighteen... eighteen... eighteen... fee... fee... fee ...TEET!!! (this is counting along with sesame street)

10. Mentally creating a thursday thirteen list of all the things I hate about zoe monster from sesame street.

11. A possible light at the end of the tunnel of my double job. (I cant say anymore for fear of jinxing myself).

12. Why does this man have a small faux votive candle on his head? Stories soon to follow.


The Mistress of the Dark said...

How much did you laugh after having your child ask to smell your armpits?

Canada said...

I totally *love* "I Think I Love You"!!! Now really, for entertainment, you need to get Norm and the Turnip singing it, too. And maybe it will soothe the Turnip - this is advice coming from a music therapist, y'know. So . . . I want video documentation (I'll settle for audio only because it's you)

Bunny said...

My Girl (The Bee) is driving me insane lately too - screaming and whining . . . and COUNTING!!! She and Turnip really are soulmates.

p.s. I'm not earning any mother-of-the-year awards lately either. Perhaps it's the unseasonable weather we had recently driving us and our children over the edge. My 6-yr-old now says "oh damn it" when something frustrates him.

gretty said...

At least my Shut Up song was sung in a happy voice! ;)

Jay said...

So ... did you let him smell your armpits??

I'm going to be singing that song all day. Thanks for the ear worm. ;-)

luckybuzz said...

#5 made me laugh. A lot.

And I *know* you let him smell your armpits. (Has he been hanging out with Aunt Feather, by any chance?) :)

Bunny said...

Just had to stop back and thank you for putting David Cassidy's voice into my head. I've heard it all day - couldn't even block it out while watching music videos as the gym.

Jenny Ryan said...

Norm rocks!

Pippajo said...

Dear, dear, dear Crse...

I have DONE IT! I am caught up! I have now once again read everything on your blog! Oh, I have missed you my friend! And now that I'm back I vow to never let this happen again!

I love those outlandish questions from the children. The other day, Man-Cub said, "Wouldn't it be weird if our eyes were where our testicles are? It would be dark."

Have to end by saying, "I Think I Love You" is on my iTunes faves list. My kids know all the words. Great song.

I'm back, baby, BACK!

Stinkbait Boucher said...

OK. What does it say about me if I found #9 to be adorable? Of all of this noise #9 is the one we all wish we had every once in a while.

Actual conversation with my precious today? Really - verbatim:

me: "Did you see the monkey?"
her: "There is no monkey."
me: "There HAS to be a monkey. This is a dentist's office."
her: "Just shut up, ok? There's no monkey."
me: "But they promised a monkey in their commercial. Remember? The one with the bad teeth?"
her: "Shut the fuck up about the monkey, ok?"
me: "Did you just tell me to shut the fuck up?"
her: "I don't know..."
me: "It's the monkey isn't it? What did it do to you back there?"
her: "GAWD! Just stop talking, alright?"

I miss #9 sometimes but not always. Monkey talk was pretty sweet!!!

crse said...

MOTD- Actually I wish it would hae been more shocking. Things like this do happen somewhat frequently here...
Canada- Turnip is SO cute when he sings!
Bunny- Oh sister. Dammit is somewhat better than fucking jackass so cheer up!
Gretty- It was happy I swear!
Jay- Well I was going to but he wouldnt stop trying to tickle me!
LB- Im sure Aunt Feather was very proud when she read this!
Bunny (again)- Yer very welcome my friend!
Jenny Ryan- He does indeed!
Pippa- baby we always keep the fire going for you....
SB- I think it just says underneath your cynical hard shell that are a big softie. Again, Id pay to follow you around all day. (its not a bad idea, it might help towards your daughter's eventual therapy bills!)

Sassy Lucy said...

Howdy, I was wondering if you could u hook me up on Dorkbloggers?
Love your blog btw :)

adjunct whore said...

shut your damn pie hole. what more could anyone want to say to their two year old?