the obligatory sleepy post

I don’t think Im gonna make five hundred today. Im very sleepy. Its been a long day. My oldest child swallowed his tooth and missed the bus. (Does telling him the tooth fairy won’t pay him unless he digs the tooth out of his poop qualify as abusive?) (Oh relax people. He didn’t believe me anyway) My baby stuffs Lincoln logs down his diaper and is currently walking around with his toilet training seat on his head. (Does that count as showing interest?)I voted today. In support of porn and alcoholic Sundays and against clean parks. (Im sorry but I just don’t have the money for clean parks. Im saving up for legends of guitar heroes III.).

As I left the precinct, I felt a distinct sense of obligation. I should be volunteering with the board of elections. Why? Because watching the current staff of volunteers manage the electronic voting booths is like watching my Dad try to program his own cell phone. Except my Dad knows better. I stood there for ten agonizing minutes watching a clearly disoriented sixty something volunteer insist that the middle voting booth was broken. I had an uncomfortable feeling that she was simply not following the prompts but thought it best to keep my mouth shut as they were already irritated with me for holding up the line as I tried to argue that I did not need my driver’s license to vote. But quicker than you can say institutionalized racism, the bevy of elderly poll ladies were gathered around the three machines. Needless to say, they had to try about two dozen really stupid solutions before they finally asked for help. When help arrived the problem was solved in less than fifteen seconds. I am not exaggerating. I mississippied the seconds.

It was one of those moments where the better person inside of me would be reflecting upon how lucky I am to live in a place where these were the biggest challenge I would face in placing my vote today. No death threats. No standing in the rain for hours on end. No gun touting pollsters. However, the better part of me did not show up until about three seconds before I wrote that last thought down. The selfish and elitist rest of me was just damn impatient and annoyed. Hell I have 389 I might as well keep going.

I gave up aspartame last week. On Thursday to be precise. My friend J sent me an article. Actually it was one of those articles I get periodically but J has the uncanny knack of being able to convince me to do almost anything from ferberizing my baby to taking a road trip to Alaska. Anyway, I started thinking maybe this would explain my inability to remember anything (like that word for moving your feet to get somewhere..crap what is it? Oh walk that’s right) (im BARELY joking) and my constant feelings of exhaustion. Ack. I hit five hundred so Im going to try to escape to my bed now. Wish me luck friends.