Monday, February 19, 2007

Bitch and Moan Monday...the crux of crabbiness

Does anyone even care about my whining anymore? No? Then click the damn x on the top of the page and move on.....still here? Ok you asked for it.

Today was the epitome of a bitch and moan monday friends. All things that make me crabby bundled into one day....

-I lost my bank card. Yes I retraced my steps. Alas, it has joined the ranks of my camera, my work cell, and all the rest of the cable remotes besides the ti-vo one (praise allah). Losing stuff kicks my compulsive behaviors into overdrive.

-The day. Ick. What a stinky stinky day. My worst day scenario triumvirate. Cold. Sunny. Dirty Snow.

- Tried unsuccessfully to convince the nice boy I supervise that i was too crabby and stinky to come out to see him today. He asked why I was stinky. I found this to be an odd question. Do we ever really know why we are stinky? I could have made some educated guesses but Im thinking he probably really hadnt thought about that question. There just couldnt be a pleasant answer to that question. Now maybe its me but if my supervisor said she was too crabby and stinky to see me, Id take the hint. No never mind. No I wouldnt. Im fairly certain Ive pressured Madame Fabu into such situations (although she has never reported nor have i experienced her being stinky). So I went anyway

- Ended up standing for a solid hour and a half observing little boys doing fun things after I specifically wore my tennis shoes so I could shoot baskets with said little boys. (Friends who know me in Real Time? take a minute and savor that image). Standing is hard. Standing hurts my back makes time go slow and makes me even crabbier.

-It was revealed to me today that iced cookie guy was trying to look down my shirt at the meeting last week. Now dont get me wrong friends, the girls are generally friendly and appreciate attention. Anyone else in that room could have snuck a peek at me girls and my response would have ranged between neutral and flattered. This however? Pissed me off filled me with a blind rage. I dont think i even need to mention the dollar because I think you all understand exactly why i felt so cheap.

- Stopped and got stress blizzards for all of us (Gret, the boys) on the way home. Not only did they not put on whipped cream but the french silk pie blizzard had funny tasting crust in it.

-All my waking moments are colored with a low grade chronic anxiety that i cannot seem to shake. Im also extremely sleepy. Abnormally sleepy.


Ok now for the positives..

-I am not really alone. Gret is here doing all this holding me together stuff. I could say so much more. I would be dead in the water without me gretty.

- Ash is having a ..... Im not telling you! Go find out for yourself, dangnabit!

-We have groceries again. Glorious and abundant cheese.

- I went to the bank today to write a check for cash since I have no bank card. I stopped in the parking lot, filled out the check, and got in the drive-thru line before I realized, hey! Its president's day! The bank is closed and I am screwed! BUT NO!! The bank WAS OPEN! I asked the cashier and she said that it was something they were trying this year and as far as she could tell, my bank was the only bank doing this in town. Like the universe gave my idiocy a small reprieve. Thank you universe.

-Gret reminded me of this website Although Ive been here before, I forgot about it and still laughed til it hurt. And that my friends, is what i will leave you with.


Factor 10 said...

Isn't there something we could do for Iced Cookie guy? A gift subscription to midget porn, or dribbling tuna juice on his seat each day after he leaves so it's dry when he get in, but smells incrementally worse each day?
MAdame Fabu probably isn't feeling the love for me right now, but there ought to be SOMETHING for this man.
Could we engineer a fake third nipple and "accidentally" let him see it, so he has to admit he was peeking before he could tell anyone?

But hooray for the Universe for having a bank open today--That was a big karmic smooch, wasn't it?

gretty said...

First I really like the third nipple idea - I think we have to run with that one...
Second, I'm honored to be on the plus side of a bitch and moan monday!

G-Love said...

(tiptoes slowly out of the room)

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Losing the bank card is a bummer. Kill iced cookie guy

Ash said...

Dude, everyday is bith and moan day for me, as evidenced by the pathetic type messages I leave on your voice mail. I'm honored to be on the brighter side of things though.
It's sunny yet cold here. Sunshine state my ass. what the hell good is the sun of its not warming up MY body? Please come for a visit? Puh-Weeze? I'm a good housewife, or I will if you come down! Hell, I'll even cook.
Vacation, we need us one of those.
(Bank cards should be sent in triplicate, I get tired of trying to explain how mine went through the washer again)

Ash said...

Also, Why dont you give iced cookie guy some poisonus peter pan peanut butter? I believe I have some in my pantry. (I was saving it for my husband, but, eh, he's behaving as of right now)

RockDog said...

I can tell ya now, funny tasting crust on anything is just a recipe for something bad bad bad...just my experience.