Monday, February 05, 2007

Our lady of perpetual grouchiness (or bitch and moan monday)

Things that Im bereft about:
1. My sonicare toothbrush battery is dead. Brushing my teeth now feels like being sexed up by a clumsy virgin wearing boxing gloves. I feel dirty and ashamed when im done.
2. I bought corn muffin mix and not only did the muffins burn slightly but they sorely lack the cornmealish goodness i was seeking out in a muffin.
3. It is extremely cold outside. So cold all local schools were cancelled. So cold I feel so bad making the dog pee outside. So cold that ive shut off the big bathroom lest asses get frozen.
4. Gill-smoke goes to a place called "fucking" st. mary's on wednesday morning. He will not be back until saturday morning. And then he leaves again sunday night. I am sad about this. Very sad. I think it will quickly turn into lord of the flies here without him.
6. "if daddy says no you are going to say yes and you are going to do it ok mommy?" What exactly did i do wrong?
7. There is urine in my bed. Its nobody's fault really. Late night confusion between training pants and overnighters.And you know what else? I am really really sad today about the constant proximity of body waste in my life. It demoralizes me. Poop and pee..i dont hate the players i just hate the game.

Things Im annoyed about:

1. The superbowl. We had a delightful impromptu superbowl party but the commercials did not live up to my expectations. And i dont know why im disappointed in the k-fed commercial. Im sad that he couldnt even be a spectacular failure I guess....
2. Im irrationally crabby about the fact that people dont do what they are supposed to do. This would be specifically work related but not necessarily clinical.
3. I am actually irrationally crabby about many things today (although just a shout out if you read this blog, you are not a person who makes me crabby. Ah but you may know one thing that made me crabby and you may know im grateful that you made me laugh out loud about it)(is cellar door the most beautiful phrase? I think not.)
4. I know its a bandwagon and im preaching to the choir here but its called SNOPES people! you email a preventable thing more than once a week? You highly deserve to be beaten profusely with a stick Ok i will qualify this even more. If you work in mental health and you have multiple people to track and you are forwarding because someone who should know better didnt research this and you need to protect your ju-ju, you are exempt from this (madame fabu)(Lonnie Manko). On the other hand if you work on a computer all day and dont take the time to look into this stuff, well? you've displeased me and i order stick beatings for you.

ohhhh im sure there is more but gill just arrived home with the promise of clean sheets and a nap for me. Im sure everything will turn around now.


Crawlspace said...

I want a temprature number.

Then I want to be a crummudgeon and say how cold it was in Minnesota and how I still walked anyway and how painful my ears were.

Yes. THis is what I need.

The Mistress of the Dark said...

I think it should be illegal for the temperatures to be lower than my age.

Shakes fists at whatever higher power will listen

Lisa said...

Man, I hear ya on the stupid f'ing emails. Snopes is right. Whenever I get one of those dumbass emails, I send a REPLY ALL and a polite (I think) message about checking it out before forwarding it. Yeesh!

It's cold here too - BRRRR! (15 degrees)

Cheer up (or not,as the case many be)!

luckybuzz said...

I'm grumpy about all the things you're grumpy about. Every last one of them. And some of my own, too.


gretty said...

"if daddy says no you are going to say yes and you are going to do it ok mommy?" Norm tries this kind of tactic on me all the time. I tell him he can manipulate me when I get a ring on my finger. That probably won't work for you though.

Trixie said...

I am sorry, is it cold there? I couldn't hear you over the sound of the ocean waves crashing. The sounds I can hear through our open windows and french doors.


(geez, that was uncharacteristically mean of me!) (I'm just trying to jinx it so I can wear a turtleneck tomorrow!)

I am with you on all the of bitching and moaning and if it weren't for a certain bloggeress named crse, I would have flung myself off of a bridge near 4 pm today!! Thank you, Luv!

Mert said...

I am sorry to hear bout #1, that's wrong on so many levels. I hope you and your sonicare can talk it through.