Monday, March 26, 2007

Bitch and Moan Monday (yeah the list aint done, back off)

So here we are on a sunny and beautiful bitch and moan monday. Never fear friends, I will not let this idyllic weather crush the spirit of bam monday! Ive got plenty you know! Today? we shall dash.

- Let us start with the norman. My darling Ash called to inquire about my little sweeties and the recovery process. Saddle up cowfolk, its gonna be a few dashes on this one. I was trying to think of how to begin the description of what the last few days have been like. And I look over and Norm is standing on top of the back of the couch screaming "be patient mommy and DONT LOOK AT ME" while the turnip is on the arm of the couch attempting to body slam the the dog. Yeah....

-Norm has gone around the bend. The healing is going ok I suppose. Unfortunately, a side effect of the surgery appears to be that he has turned into Caligula. This is complete with a strained squeaky scream voice that is way more shrill than one would expect after tonsillectomy. Inciting mad roman emperor behavior can include but is not limited to events such as improper understanding of popsicle preferences, blanket availability in a timely manner, and of course any time his brother moves in a way that displeases him.

-My personal favorite illustration of this insane behavior occurred this morning as the turnip and I were cuddling on the couch and watching Sprout (im not linking, its a PBS channel for kids). Suddenly, the floor starts shaking and Norm STORMTROOPER MARCHES into the living room (completely naked except for his overnighter and his scowl) screaming "I HATE THIS CHANNEL. GET IT OFF THE TV NOW". Now, out of respect to my delicate readers, I will not go into details about how that played out, but I do admit this, I was kind of impressed that after almost five years of his life where absolutely nothing even remotely near this type of behavior has ever worked for him, he still played the "rage scream" demand. It was...gutsy.

I have other bitches and moans but you know what? they are sucking the life out of me. Its the end of the month, notes are due, copies need made and IM ALL OUT OF GREEN PAPER!!! Only Madame Fabu (oh and gill, and POSSIBLY gretty) knows how bad the lack of green paper is.

I just keep hearing that one verse from "rosalita" in my head with springsteen singing "someday we'll look back on this and it will all seem funny." (dont anyone get fussy about the springsteen ref- i didnt say i liked it i just said i hear it)

12 comments:

luckybuzz said...

You know that Caligula is my birthday buddy, right? Maybe you need to send the boy out here, and let his Aunt Luckybuzz and Aunt Gospel Bob sort him out.

Canada said...

No more Turnip-as-scream-instrument today? I kinda liked that game.

There's still time to get a flight eastward . . .

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Caligula? OMG!

Tee hee

Ash said...

How is it you are not curled up in the corner of a closet?
I know that's where I feel like being and I managed to make it to work on time, showered and my child was clean too. (uh, relatively)
If only this office had a closet.
Cozy cozy closet.

gretty said...

Yes!Yes! Auntie LB can sort him out! Aunt gretty is out of ideas. Yesterday norm told me he hated me because the web page he wanted didn't load fast enough. When I said it was too bad because I loved him he responded "well you better start hating me because then it's not fair"!

RockDog said...

Star Wars Stormtroppers are cool...so if he can march like them, then that is just awesome!

And Springsteen??? Ack! LOL!

Ash said...

This is the song that doesn't end.........Yes, it goes on and on, my friend............Some people started singing it not knowing what it was........and they'll continue sing it because...........this is the song that doesn't end.......

Now those are some lyrics to get stuck in your head

Ash said...

This is the song that doesn't end.........Yes, it goes on and on, my friend............Some people started singing it not knowing what it was........and they'll continue sing it because...........this is the song that doesn't end.......

Now those are some lyrics to get stuck in your head

Factor 10 said...

Big O's Caligula-moments happened sans overnighter, but WITH rainboots. That's all. Just rainboots. Whose evil mother snapped a picture? Oh, yeah.

ZigZagMan said...

Long live Caligula.....Long live Caligula...! :)

My nephew is just turning 2...I call him Angus...fine Irish name for the lad. I've been deemed...the "bad influence" uncle....phhhpt.

Mert said...

Naked marching storm troopers, huh? And I thought my husband was the only one who does that.

Man, it should have BA F'ing M, and I don't blame you one bit.

*sending warm, fuzzy, dorky vibes your way*

luckybuzz said...

Gretty made me laugh out loud IN COMMENTS. I love chez panflutemaster.