Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Long Live The King

Well folks, I am happy to report that we made it through surgery with little if any mishap. Thank you all for your good wishes and warm thoughts towards my little norman. As a reward, I offer you random dashes for your reading enjoyment.

- We arrived in a timely manner. I would like to take credit for being a responsible mom but truth be told, the only reason we made it was because there was ZERO traffic on the main strip and what normally takes fifteen minutes to drive took five. I did enjoy faking it for the surgery people though.

-Norm was AMAZING. The worst part for me was waiting for them to take him. They told us I couldnt go back and he did not cry but his little face scrunched up and I fell apart inside (but not outside thankfully). The nurses gave him a teddy bear to take in and he seemed ok with that. (nice to know i can be replaced with something really soft and furry) (don't get any ideas there gill). In fact, it prompted to make a satisfied declaration about his two favorite things, teddy bears and ninjas.

- The outpatient surgery place had this open kitchen with bagels, cream cheese, crackers (cheese on wheat) coffee and THREE KINDS OF SODA! It was awesome! Local folks, I highly recommend the place if you are ever in the area and need a free snack. Its crowded enough that if you are subtle, nobody will know you don't belong.

-Aunt Gret has been quite the doting and worried aunt which is working out super well for us. When she is nervous, she cleans. We came home at 11am to find the entire house spotless and clothes folded. Trust me, everybody in the world needs a friend like this. Right now she is coloring on the floor with Norm and he has completely stopped addressing me, directing all his requests to the more entertaining "beautiful face" (norm constantly refers to her face as such)(and she is, but he is so desperately romantic about it) of Aunt Gret.

- On a slightly disturbing note, we were watching Higgly Town Heroes before the surgery. I am going to use up a whole dash talking about this inane program. If you have never seen it, the characters look like this.

Now friends, I can get behind the nesting doll concept, but why do their faces need to be so ugly. They are just completely unattractive. And ive seen attractive nesting dolls so I know it can be done. The entire concept of the show is to look at different occupations and marvel at their everyday heroism. And when you think about it, this is a bothersome concept on a few levels. 1) First, as my cousin Larry points out, this is your JOB, and since you are paid to do it are you really a hero? I mean sure some folks go above and beyond in their professions which is great. But Im pretty sure there are assholes in every profession. 2) Having said that, is it really fair to compare the heroism of a fire fighter to the heroism of a FLORIST? Yes that was actually a show. How the fucking FLORIST is a HERO. Which is where they would have lost me had the nesting dolls been attractive.

-Ok the show is getting another slash because of HER. (the squirrel on the top)

Hint folks: If you want to make a lovable squirrel sidekick? Dont give her the personality of an annoying minnesota housewife. its not cute. Its like the mom who is way too invasive in her kids' personal lives so they all become these isolated emotional hostages in a horrifically closed family system (ok, granted she does remind me of a client's mom but I think i would have seen this in her regardless). She opens her mouth and instantly I feel the children (ugly nesting dolls) become more socially stunted. I think I need to make a hate wall with my most loathed children's tv characters (barney not withstaanding). She would definitely have her own bullseye.

- I bring up the Higgly town heroes because before the surgery, the doctor came in and mentioned that the little nesting dolls reminded him of weeble wobbles. Then he reminisced about how he used to punch the weeble wobbles when he was little. Really Dr? How cool. I was hoping that you would share a bit of your sadistic streak before taking my baby away from me and cutting into him. Thank you Dr. de Sade. Thank you much.

-But he came through great and even squeaked out "no thank yous" when he was trying to refuse treatment in recovery. Last night was a little hairy but i really think he is on the mend. Right now he is on the couch clinging to teddy and watching Tom and Jerry. He is being spoiled by relatives at every angle and Aunt Gret is as she said at his beck and call while he lounges.

Now I must go shopping so I can give them there alone time. Thanks again everyone for warm wishes and good thoughts! I heart my blogfriends!


Ash said...

The ittle wittle bitsy boy wants more popsicles. I highly rec' the red white and blue ones shaped like rockets.

Canada said...

Yay for the tonsil-free Norm!!! Personally, when they are under the weather, I prefer it when they feel crappy enough to cuddle on the couch and watch tv. It's when you need to keep them "quiet" and they are whining about being bored, and trying to run around WAY too much that it stresses me out!

fyi, you know I'm the worrywart house-cleaning friend, right? Just ask Nancycle!

Mert said...

I'm so glad Norm is doing OK! It's so nice that you have friends and family helping out!

Yes, Higglies give me the willies. The squirrel drives me bonkers, don'cha know!

BTW, I have been meaning to mention that I have been calling my husband the Zampir, Master of the Ass-flute for a loooong time, and I always chuckle when I see your blog title.

Disgusting but true- we heard the music and I said it sounded like Him, tooting. I asked him if he had done the music for that particular movie *snort* He always tries to say that no, I am the Master. ;)

luckybuzz said...

I'm glad Norm is doing good--he's such a little rockstar. Give him a popsicle for Aunt Luckybuzz, willya?

Crawlspace said...

High fives all around for the successful surgery. Well, no high fives for the nesting dolls, but everyone else gets a high five. Norm can have extras if he wants.

winterskibunny said...

Yikes surgery and out all in one day. Glad to here Norm came out okay, sans tonsils.

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Yay! Glad everything went well. My little cousin had her tonsils out on the 5th

Pippajo said...

I am so sorry I wasn't around enough to wish you and your little guy well. Can that be done after the fact? Guess not.

Anyway, I am really glad he is feeling better and everything went smoothly. My Boy had to have outpatient surgery when he was 10 months old and I nearly went mad with worry!

Also? The hate wall? Is a genius, GENIUS idea! I smell a new Dorkbloggers feature! Or maybe a Zamphir Panflutemaster feature. Or even a Knut Hut feature. Wherever it may appear, I am so all over it! Let me know if you need help cause I am right there with you! Please do it!

RockDog said...

Glad to hear that Norm did well!

-The people of HigglyTown don't get paid to work...they do it for pride and honor.

-One show featured a Pizza Man who saved the day! Pizza Man is AWESOMELY cool! They should actually call him Pizza Dude...maybe they do...

-It freaks me out how they keep their money inside their...shells. Need some cash? POP open your side and grab some loot. FREAKY!

-I kind of want to be a HigglyTown hero! Just to make you crazy! LOL!