Wednesday, August 29, 2007

why is the law and order svu er doctor chewing up the scenery?

Ok friends- just have to share a few things to purge me mind.

- Met with the woman refinancing our loans. Im not sure what transpired in the meeting because I couldnt stop staring at her breasts. In fact, I dont think any of us could. They were lovely and quite overtly featured. At first i thought she brought the girls out because she is unfortunately what my co-worker spike calls a "butterface". (i.e. everything looks good on her "butterface") (Spike is our in house link to all things urban and street. We arent sure how or why he has this information. We secretly fear that he watches Ricki lake or other trash talk shows on the sly and our "street cred" is eventually going to be traced back to trailer parks across the midwest) In retrospect, im wondering if the girl show wasnt a marketing strategy. It may have backfired though because generally my kids would have been distracting enough to compel me to sign anything to get the hell out of there. However, Norm and the turnip silently stared (along with Gill and I) for the entire half hour.

- Went for my med check today. Here is something ive been pondering all evening. If you go to your shrink and tell him that you've been inexplicably edgy and irritable as well as excessively emotional as of late, would you expect him to tweak the anti-depressants? Or boost the adderall (read CONTROLLED SUBSTANCE) another ten mgs? He said he thinks it could be related to adderrall withdrawal...hmmm... It should be an interesting ride. I want to apologize to all my RT friends right now. And warn Gill to hide the cutlery. Please.

- Before my med check, I saw my therapist (in the same office). I need social guidance here friends. In between the two sessions, I was sitting in the lobby. My therapist kept walking past. At first we smiled and commented. Then we just smiled. Then it just got damn awkward. I am fairly certain that we were both avoiding eye contact by the third or fourth pass. What is normal protocol for this sort of interaction? Alas, I fear that the real question is, Why am I so socially stunted?

Alright friends, Going to bed so Im rested for the big day tomorrow. Did I mention Gill is now playing? This is not a good thing as he's gone totally patsy ramsey on norm during soccer. I know they stress sportsmanship but Im thinking that trash talking between spouses is considered privileged communication, right?

Edited to add: Butterface is used like so. "She's a butterface. Everything looks good on her butterface (but. her. face) This would mean she's not really pretty. In the face. But her body rocks hard enough that you really might just think about swallowing your pride and leaving the lights out or getting the proverbial bag for her head!


Gospel Bob said... know, I think the therapist interaction is awkward whether it is a therapist or a janitor you happen to know. They are going about their work and you keep being there. The first interaction, where you were amiable, is the one to pay attention to. The following awkwardness is just an overextension of time/space convergence that shouldn't be happening. I think everybody is awkward in those moments.

As for the butterface and breasts, what ended up happening with the loans? And can you explain butterface some more? I was confused and sorta tittilated. (*My usual state.)

Is Gill going to kick cleanup? Whatever the case, you should piss each other off on purpose to get extra kicking power.

The Mistress of the Dark said...

I'm glad I wasn't there with butterface the boobie woman. I so would have opened my mouth and words would have come out....and not the right ones.

Bunny said...

GB's got it right on the awkward therapist interaction. Perfect explanation.

Hey, maybe if you and Gill are aggressive enough on the field, you'll get some post-kickball-i-so-kicked-ass-now-kiss-me-already nookie! That'll help with the edgy, moody thing, right?

P.S. Does anyone but me still say nookie?

RockDog said...

"I couldnt stop staring at her breasts. In fact, I dont think any of us could. They were lovely and quite overtly featured."

This is by far the best thing I have ever read.

It...they...deserve their own post with more detail! LOL!

Happy Hump Day!

MaggieMay said...

crse, my little heart leaps with joy every time I see a new post from you. you are The. Most. Hilarious person EVAH!

Now that said, I still dont get "butterface." Can you use it in another sentence, for context?

Jay said...

I guess I'm going to take your word for it on the breasts. Normally I would require visual evidence though. Don't you have a cam on your cell phone?

What do you do if you run into your therapist at the grocery store and she/he says (without thinking) "how's it going?"

I mean, surely he/she doesn't really want to get into that in the frozen food section, right?

crse said...

Gospel Bob- Thats incredibly insightful. And helpful. Thank you! (dont read as surprised as i count on you for these gems about human nature) Ill get to butterface in a minute. Gill didnt kick clean up. Chuck did. And got out. But Gill did kick with his steel toed boots. And got out. It was still awesome.

MOTD- yeah. I do that sometimes.

Bunny- Thanks for the therapist support buddy. Nookie is way better than whoopee i believe but no. That didnt happen. Mostly our interactions involved us taking turns on the field with him dealing with the screaming turnip every time i played defense .It wasnt actually sexy.

Aw rockdog- Im flattered! I may see her again today so maybe they can be in the blog again.

Maggiemay! I seriously echo the sentiment! And you just made me feel way less lame about being far too attached to the D saga! (well and the dream job saga and the book/sabbatical saga) You and gospel bob have convinced me to edit to add for butterface.

Jay-trust me. It. Was. Spectacular. I will try to get a picture next time i see her if her girls show up again. Interestingly, I have run into my therapist in public. She does ask. But i think thats because she knows i wont get into anything embarrassing. Ive even met her "partner" (not sure if they are married) who is a delightful man too. She rocks!

Stinkbait Boucher said...

You might be *my* therapist.

Is that irony or serendipity?

Is serendipity a word?

This rings a bell and/or strikes a chord. As I wandered the halls of a snotty building in or around the west coast offices of NPR this past weekend a coworker bid me come yonder.

"Over here." he said.
"Near the bodacious tatas!" he answered.
"Be more specific," I insisted, "this is California."
"The fake ones with, you know, the 'things'." he clarified.

I found my friend and we made it out alive.

crse said...

SB- if i were your therapist...(man how many times have i thought that to myself with other people) i would be delighted because i know you would never ever fail to entertain me with your issues. (I dont mean that in a callous way. Its just your "charmed" life!)