Saturday, November 11, 2006

random slashes: have we all been reduced to this?

When i made the promise i would match quizzes and MeMes with real posts, I didnt realize i would create such a dry spell for myself! Its not that i dont have stuff to blog about. It just all happens so fast and seems to entail much more of a commitment than I could make to my blog this week. So as I hang my head in shame, I will offer random slashes of amusing, interesting or disturbing things from my week.

- I found a note in my eggs one morning that read "the chicken who laid us had her beak shaved off and her legs broken at birth. Please consider buying eggs from free roaming chickens next time". I actually think this may have been Aunt Gretty and not the eggs themselves.

- On the same note, as Norm and I were grocery shopping, he insisted we make an emergency call to Aunt Gretty because he had trouble believing that orange eggs came from chickens. She explained that "happy chickens lay orange eggs" and that seemed to satisfy him.

- Had lunch with my friend Andy at a place where a woman who has a girl-crush on me waitresses. (Sadly, I completely forget about her until I get in the restaurant and have to deter unwanted attention) Although we did not sit in her section, her longing glances and persistent lingering by our table made for more than one awkward moment during the meal.

-During lunch, Andy described our co-worker's behavior: "That's totally serial murder stuff. That's 'can I have a chunk out of the back of your leg for my woman suit?' behavior".

- During the same lunch, she shared with me the reason she does not like buffets. "Arm hair and dead skin just sloughs off when people reach into the food." She points to a strand of hair in our creamer dish. "Look at that. Not your hair. Not my hair. Arm hair."

- Went to the library to meet a client and sat next to a man who I was afraid dropped dead during our time next to each other. As I did my observation, he sat completely still for almost twenty minutes. It was that awkward do i look and see if he is breathing? Would that be obvious? If he is not, will I need to start CPR? I dont have my refresher course til december, will I remember the steps? I have a five o clock appointment, will I be late if I have to give the guy CPR? If he is already dead, I really dont want to be sucking his mouth. Happily, he was not dead at all. And as a side note, while we did not acknowledge each other during our time next to each other, as he walked out he gave me a huge smile and we waved to each other. All in all, it was a very uplifting ending!

- COMPLETELY embarrassed myself in front of a team of professionals during a meeting, but kept on going because I decided I would seriously lose face if I admitted my embarrassment.

Well thats all I have for now. Just wanted my beloved readers to know I am still here!


Anonymous said...

You are just unbelievably entertaining, always. How do you do this?

It's luckybuzz. You can tell because I'm So. Full. Of crse love. (though hopefully not in a creepy lingering way)

nancycle said...

You're hilarious! So glad the man wasn't dead.

...buffet arm hair...Ummm....

**** GAGGING *****

Canada said...

Yay, you're back!! I've missed you.

So, the beakless, unhappy chickens with the broken legs must not be laying any orange eggs.

crse said...

Aww its nice to be missed and appreciated (although whoops about the gagging!) Canada that sounds like great code.