The ugly season

Well my friends, Thanksgiving has come and gone. Lovely day despite a somewhat unfortunate encounter with the bonsai's least favorite aunt, who i suspect has a girl crush on me. (dont believe me? lets review the list shall we?: Is she manly? check. Did she leave her husband for another woman in the 90s and then get back together with him? check. Does she prolongingly look at my breasts and extend eye contact? check. Is she not even remotely attractive? Check. Is she hostile towards Gill? Check.) Needless to say, the bonsai threw me under the bus on this one and nobody else thought twice about leaving me there. I was a trooper friends. I took the hits and still managed to avoid the boob crushing hug at the end.

Id like to say that this encounter was responsible for what transpired later that evening but I would be lying. Truth be told, thanksgiving night was actually the beginning of what I have come to think of as "the ugly season". In the next six weeks, there will be a flurry of parties and occasions that will require your host to get stupid ugly drunk. And I am prepared to live up to this expectation. Here are some highlights from thursday night.

-after being dropped off at the bar, one of the first people I saw was a woman from my past whose car I didnt "technically" steal. It was more like a joyride. She hates me friends.

-needless to say this led me to overindulge in the vodka right away.

-which led me to behave like a lunatic on the dance floor

-and force my cousin to slow dance with me (she was ok with it. she is no stranger to drunk crse)

- and drink more.

- and inadvertently buy a shot for a man I loathe because I was politely asking him if he needed to get closer to the bar. (Folks, sometimes drunk crse is not my friend)

-and start a conversation with someone else who NONE of my friends ever liked.

-and drunk dial several friends who were not there to tell them I was hanging out with the person I forgot we dont like to get them to come out and see the person we didnt really care for.

-and possibly hit on my friend's brother. (when you get onto topics like swinging and you are drunk and trying to affirming, well...it could go either way)

Ok well thats enough highlights. Might as well pace this as we have several more events to look forward to.

The aftermath wasnt pretty friends. And Im not ready to talk about it. Until we went to Madame Fabu's mother for dinner last night, the day was a blur of me on the couch trapped in a flinstone's marathon encouraging my children to snack on whatever they could reach in lieu of actual meals. Its going to be a long holiday season my friends.