Monday, April 16, 2007

Bitch and Moan Monday (generalized surly edition)

Im. So. Crabby. I cannot stand myself.
Here are my complaints in no particular order.

- The obvious dorkbloggers scandal pissed me off. Because some assholes (YEAH I CALLED YOU ASSHOLES) cheated, the people who really had funny stories and lots of votes like Aunt Jackie and Zigzagman lost a bunch of votes because we have to start all over. Even worse, we have to go and make a new poll every night so people can vote fresh every day. People suck.

-Have any of you seen the chef boyardee ravioli commercial? Where the mom asks the little girl what she wants for dinner while they are shopping and she picks up a can of raviolis and her mom says "not tonight hon, youve had chef every night this week."? Now dont get me wrong, I can totally suspend belief about the can following the little girl home. Creepy? well yes, but i get it. What really bugs the shit out of me about this commercial is that dialogue. Ok first? Mom asks the little girl RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE CHEF BOYARDEE SHELF? Uh gee, if she had chef every night that week, why not ask her in FRONT OF THE FUCKING DELI OR IN THE DAMN FROZEN SECTION? Jackass. Also, what the fuck? You already made the mistake of asking her in front of chef, after she ate it every night this week. And NOW you decide to draw the line in the sand? COME ON! She's had the sodium and the preservatives and the processed shit FOR DINNER EVERY NIGHT THIS WEEK! Now you are the goddam mother of the year because you are shooting her down in the grocery store. Stupid fucking jackass.

-Speaking of children, The turnip is once again a snarly disdainful fit throwing mess. Caligula and Nero. These are my children. Gill had the helpful idea that perhaps the turnip is so surly because he is trying so hard to talk and he is frustrated because he cant tell us what he wants. In actuality, its not the communication barrier setting him back. Its the fact that im not going to give him what he wants whether he has words or not. Because turnip listen. There is no good way for a toddler to ask for a 32 oz glass of iced tea to carry about the house. Ever. And if a toy is a solid object that happens to have a rim around the top, I cannot "open" the toy. No matter how much it pisses you off buddy. And after the clogging incident last week, Im certain that the rest of the household is clear as to why i cant just give you a roll of toilet paper and leave you alone as you seem to desire.

- I made a fantastic dinner (yeah you read that right) of chicken pesto ravioli and gill had to work late so he did not get to enjoy it hot. It was very disheartening. (Ok to be honest, i took the market day diced chicken cubes and mixed it with the sam's club pesto while i boiled the raviolis, but seriously? for me, thats freaking gourmet shit!)

Ahhh what do i have to complain about really? Ill leave you with the line that made my whole day turn to sunshine.

Me: You are growing up so quickly baby, its going by too fast.
Norm: Its ok mommy, the bigger I get, the more i can love you.


luckybuzz said...

Okay, that last line is freaking ADORABLE. And you know that the bigger I get, the more I can love you too, right? :)

crse said...

And you do get taller everytime i see you! I should have known it was all that extra love! It is not an accident that the news did not make bitch and moan monday. Because it makes you happy. And knowing you are happy makes me incredibly happy.

Mert said...

That is soooo sweet! Norm is quite the little man! :D

Did your stoney-bitchy-moaney heart turn to buttah?

ZigZagMan said...

:) good son made my day yesterday by calling to see if he could stay over here today....I responded.."llama llama llama"......which...kinda creeped him out I think...:)

The Mistress of the Dark said...

The Chef commerical is freaky..however the line "You've had Chef every night this week" is creepier and makes mom look like a rotten mom

Aunt Jackie said...

Belated but better late than never--Thanks for the comment on that, I am glad at least a couple folks liked my story :)