My favorite guilty pleasure Xavier Onassis has been posting lately about the death of a fellow blogger. I never read the guy myself but I know a few of you not only read him but posted tributes of your own. Also, my friend T experienced a loss with extremely tragic circumstances (not that all death is not somewhat tragic, but this one is particularly heartbreaking) a few days ago. Anyway, XO wrote something about what does one say in a situation like this. It reminded me of one of the anecdotes a prof in grad school used to exemplify the process of joining during grief.
The mom of a third grader got a phone call from her daughter's friend's mother one afternoon. Turns out her daughter's friend had recently lost her father and the call was to let the mom know that her little girl had been an incredibly support to her bereaved friend. The widow expressed her gratitude and amazement of the compassion of the 8 year old. After the call, the first mom was curious about whatever words of wisdom her daughter had offered the little girl so she asked her.
The little girl thought a minute and then replied. "Well she was so sad. And I didnt know what to say to make her feel any better. So I just sat down and cried with her." And friends, sometimes thats all you can do....
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