Thursday, September 06, 2007

Thursday Thirteen: The Potterhead edition.

In honor of her inaugural week of blogging, I dedicate this TT to my darlin' Lucy. For an extremely thoughtful defense of her fascination go here .

You might be obsessed with Harry Potter if....

1. You stand in line for wristbands show up at the bookstore for the 10pm book release pre-vent bring YOUR OWN potter themed entertainment to the late night Potter geek fest book release event.

2. After you participate in the above while trying to tell yourself it was something you did for your 8 year old daughter, you spend the next 36 hours in hiding until you finish the book only to resurface looking extremely pale and tired but more satisfied than if you'd had a week-long chocolate/sex binge with Colin Firth.

3. You have the uncanny ability to work a Harry Potter reference into every conversation ranging from your opinions on the use of critical pedagogy as a teaching method to discussions of effective conditioners for curly hair.

4. You laugh knowingly when other like-minded potterheads offer unintelligible phrases like "dementor eating snapes" (ok thats a total guess phrase)

5. You attempt to teach your two year old nephew how to perform spells by waving sticks around and instead of being alarmed by the fact that you have now turned him into an out of control weapon on the move, you express great pride in his "stupefying skills".

6. Your daughter has a Harry Potter flag hanging on her bedroom door only because she busted you putting it on the front door and claimed it for herself.

7. After much soul searching you decide to forgive your loving and devoted sister-in-law/dearest friend/identified "person" despite the obvious disrespect she showed in the use of the phrase "Dumblefuck". You also commit yourself to educating her about this act of clear ignorance.

In all fairness to the obsession, I need to devote the last items to the Harry Potter Party. Which, regardless of how I mock, was a total "bash of the season" as Lucy parties are wont to be.

7. Your party guests call each other in confusion because they have no idea where the hell the party is since you wrote Potter addresses in the location spot of the invitation.

8. You offer comfort to your five year old nephew by telling him that "it's ok, you don't really have it in you to be a death eater and thats a good thing"

9. You have a devoted crew of twenty small children (only about five of whom have any idea as to what you might be talking about) joyfully running all over your backyard looking for snakes and incarnations of Sirius Black and other magical items.

10. Although you are specifically known by your loved ones as being an adult that is vigilantly aware of child safety, you have no qualms about setting up chemical reactions in the back yard as a part of a potion making activity.

11. During said potion activity, one of the children refers to the food coloring and politely through clenched teeth, you explain once again that it is not food coloring but invisible ink. (your frustration stemming from the fact that you've already had to tell them three times that the dried mandrake root was NOT baking soda)

12. You are calm and reassuring after your sister-in-law/dearest friend/identified "person" accidentally eats several dragon eggs meant to be used in the explosion experiment. You totally had back up eggs.

13. (I think this might be my favorite) You know enough Harry Potter to be able to pick personality suiting quotes to put on the loot bags for 23 children!

(honorable mentions)
-When you say the quiz says you are only 19% obsessed, your loved ones look at you dubiously, secretly suspecting that you cheated the quiz to bring your score down so it would not be so glaringly obvious that you have a problem.
-Your loved ones have discussed having an intervention but are afraid that even if you cannot summon snapes or house elves or whatever the hell us, you have no qualms about giving our small children sticks to wield at us.
-You've given your husband the pseudonym Reg because he will not let you directly identify him as Sirius Black in your relentless crusade to be Mrs. Sirius Black so you will be Mrs. Reg Black (named for Sirius's brother)(dont get excited friends, I only know this because of Mrs. Black)


The Mistress of the Dark said...

I need to put my LOLLERSKATES on after reading this one.

BTW me and I'll explain the 8/25/07 thing.

luckybuzz said...

These are the words I understood in this post: obsessed; book; hair; invitation; eggs.

I'm sure it's not you. It's totally me. :)

Lucy said...

Laughed till I cried. Even better than receiving my Sirius Black action figure today (finally) from

Factor 10 said...

"more satisfied than if you'd had a week-long chocolate/sex binge with Colin Firth."

Those are some strong words, and a lovely image...

Being only mildly Potter afflicted myself, I adored it when you used Dumblefuck.

Lucy said...

A few coloring = invisible essence. Why would it be ink? We don't use ink in potion making. You ate snake eggs, dragon eggs are far too large to eat. Snape is a person, and thus, standard capitalization should apply :)

Canada said...

I can't remember what the hell I was going to write because I am totally distracte by the newly discovred fact that YOU CAN GET SIRIUS BLACK ACTION FIGURES!!!!!!!!!! Must.Go.Order.NOW!!!


Lucy said...


He comes in either four or seven inch size ;)

Bunny said...

Oooo - I want the 7" one!


RockDog said...

Why did I think this was going to be a post about the 13 best things about weed???

Have a great weekend!!!

RockDog Unleashed! Saturdays @ Midnight!

Ash said...

It's not Reg, it's Regulus.

Oy Vay.

Canada said...

Lucy - thanks!

Ash - LMAO, exactly what I thought (well, minus the oy vay)

Jay said...

And #14: You have THIS PAGE bookmarked.


Why are you looking at me like that?

I keed people ... I keed.

Lucy said...

Ash and Canada

Yeah, I know it's Regulus, but my husband wanted Reg--not Regulus or Sirius (or Mr. Darcy). Perhaps my obsession with sexy brits offends him?


crse said...

MOTD- Ok im very curious!

LB- No. I am not even sure what the hell i was writing there! ;)

Lucy- You rock. You do scare me with the essence and the snake eggs and i still dont know what the hell a snape is!

Jenn- You not only my inner soul but also my dorky jokes! thank you for being such a great blogsister baby!

Canada, Ash, Bunny- It was never supposed to be this way. Now put your dolls away until you are back home!

Rockdog- Between you, me, and the blogosphere I know way more about pot than harry potter. Go Rockdog Unleashed!

Jay! OMG! I totally almost went there but its actually Lucy's sister who has the daniel radcliffe age of consent versus age of legality rationale! (which im actually very supportive of since i was having not nice thoughts about jared leto when he was enough for me)

gretty said...

Beautiful. Once again you made me choke coffee out of my nose...