Friday, September 07, 2007

George ate all my cheese.

The turnip's first sentence as reported by Aunt Gretty! I need to do a sum up post of my week of the perfect storm but ill just throw a few random dashes at ya til i get the chance.

- It is day four of school and we've already missed the bus and had our first "tardy". I explained to Norm that we only get twelve tardies before they call the authorities. He got very nervous so I told him it would just mean we had to pay a fine with the money we've been saving for the wii. Apparently he told his kindergarten teacher this. I knew my proactive pre-concern teacher stalking would pay off! Ive dispensed with the formalities and can now just shoot off an explanatory email as these things come up.

-I do love my job friends but if a fifteen year autistic old boy never ever brings up issues involving his "weird sexual attractions" (his words) in front of six elderly couples as we all take advantage of ponderosa's early bird special buffet and platter deal I will still feel fulfilled as a professional.

- Signs that my loved ones worry about my spiritual future: Madame Fabu offers me support today with the phrase "Wherever you end up its gonna be first class". Of course South Park immediately came to mind as I flashed to the thought of satan finding me too abusive and leaving me to live in a loft on the west side with a vegetarian named Chris.

- Norm informed me yesterday that he may have a new girlfriend named Kimmie. He apparently eats lunch with her. "She is kind of creepy looking but she is really nice". "Creepy pretty?" I ask hopefully. "No just plain creepy". Im hoping this means he is a total package guy who looks beyond the surface and not that he is automatically drawn to creepy looking girls. And im wondering what norm defines as creepy. Because my children are growing up around a somewhat "out of the box" social circle. Tattoos, wild clothes and piercings are not creepy. Goth is not creepy. So what does he find creepy? It makes a mom ponder....I do know that pre-school creepy was the weird little kid who would stare at norm without speaking when he said hello. But apparently kimmie talks to him...

Ok friends, thanks for indulging me! More on the perfect storm soon.


adjunct whore said...

Bahhhhh!@ god, you're three for three. thank you, god, and crs, for putting your blog in my path so i could laugh to the point of distortion and almost peeing at least a few times a week.

ponderosa. :)

adjunct whore said...

i also think we should maybe try to see how much mileage we can get out of "cheese."

Xavier Onassis said...

"She is kind of creepy looking but she is really nice"

I can't tell you how many of my relationships started with this same assessment.

Of course, most of them began at Last Call and were over less than 12 hours later.

But still. I'm just sayin'.

Canada said...

Hmmmm . . . I can't wait to see what Norm's version of creepy is. And at least your autistic client didn't start masturbating at the Ponderosa - remind me to tell you a lovely story about a music therapy client who liked to test limits . . .
Hey, cheers to surviving another week of school. See, you can do it!!!

gretty said...

I had no idea this was the Turnip's first sentence! I would have been much more excited!

Lucy said...

Maybe Norm sees pink dresses and hair ribbons as creepy, and I have to say, they are in a Bad Seed kind of way.

Bunny said...

I'm picturing creepy girl as follows: perfectly-assembled designer ensemble, perfectly- coiffed hair, and perfectly manicured 5-year-old nails. Elle in Legally Blonde at age 5. That would creep me the heck out.

Your situation with the autistic client at Ponderosa is EXACTLY the type of thing I worry about when my six year old hits puberty. OMG. But then again, I was discussing the merits of a sexually open marriage with my husband at an amusement park this afternoon within earshot of an elderly couple, so I'm really no better.

Bunny said...

Also: Who is George and why did he eat all of Turnip's cheese? Is Turnip sure George ate it or did he just move it?

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Tattoos, wild clothes and piercings are not creepy.

Says who? That's creepy to me. :P

luckybuzz said...

You're going to need to post a photo of Norm's girlfriend. You know that, right? (Or a drawing, at least.)

crse said...

AW- You flatter me! I blush! And remind me to tell you of my cheese opera!

XO- I hear that friend. On my side, thankfully most began with an offer to get high and ended with me explaining to whoever was in charge of alteredcrse why i was going home with him.

Canada- oh sister i wish that i couldnt match your story but i can.

Gretty- There have been others? For the record, i found you nicely excited!

Lucy- Unfortunately he has heard me call Veruca and Nelly creepy so there could be that... (also you better get bloggin' woman!)

Bunny- Its ok, you just reminded me i need to dig out that article though! George is my dog (who you would see more of if he was not so hating of the camera) and yes we are sure because he and the turnip are around the same height and george pretty much eats what he can get from the turnip!

MOTD- Good thing we didnt do the blogger meet-up then! :P

Luckybuzz- The kindergarten tea is next monday. Ill keep ya posted!