Tuesday, July 11, 2006

day care blues

"Im not going there ever ever again Mommy."
"honey I know. We had a nice vacation and its fun when Aunt G watches you- but mommy has got to back to work."
"Ok but this is the last day and Im not ever ever going back mommy"
"If I quit my job, there will be no more new toys and no more cartoons"
"Dont talk to me ANYMORE mommy"
(reality freaking sucks buddy)
("Debt is all around us isnt it mommy")

This is the face Im dealing with.

The conversation continues "Remember mommy last year when I got crazymad when I throwed my plane against the back of the computer?"

"yeah buddy when daddy was in puerto rico" (We LOVE it when daddy travels)

"I was really mad and sad that day wasnt I mommy?"

(Life freaking sucks sometime) "Yeah buddy you were."

In the midst of this, Madame Fabu calls looking for paperwork that was due last week. Shit. She has a way of being very comforting about this stuff. Kind of like telling you factually but cheerfully and without judgment exactly how you screwed up and what needs to happen. My boss is like that too. We always say that she is the only person who can completely reprimand you and you still leave the office feeling better about yourself, your job and life in general. So now I need to abandon the day-care intervention (which Gill believes is based on highly manipulative four year old behavior but we don't even want to go into Gill's "russian gulag of love" parenting style at this point) and whip out a report for Madame Fabu so I can send it before I actually leave for work.

This is a perspective of what I am dealing with as I write. This would be the Turnip trying to help. (Note mr. half dressed oliver twist in the background). He really likes the green button on my laptop. The on/off button.

Somehow i got the report written and the monkeys readied and wrangled into the car seats. The drop off of course was horrible. It usually is. Think Sophie's Choice meets Casablanca meets every devastating break up you ever had. We have a deal. If Norm can get through the drop off without making me cry, he gets a surprise. Today was not that day. As Im prying him off of me, and he is saying "I dont want a surprise, I just want to be with you" and all I want to do is hold him till he is maybe seven years old and interested in going on his own, I am once again faced with the realization that I did something really wrong with this one. I just don't know what it is.

Happily, the turnip is much easier in his separation. There was a new woman in his room today. He was like "oh hey! you look squishy! lets have some vanilla wafers together!" He didnt even notice when I left the room.

Now I am home and about to do more work but will take a break to take Norm to get a surprise because he earned it back by helping Gill clean the living room just now. And we get to do it all over again tomorrow.


Jesse said...

I am trying to get all these people straight.

OK, so the little guy with the adorable stoic face is Turnip, right?

And Oliver is the anti-clothes kid right?

Who is Norm?

Ok, that's all the people questions I have.

luckybuzz said...

Jesse, Norm and Oliver are one and the same. Mostly he's Norm. He's just got that Oliver Twist thing going on in that picture.

Crse, that sad little face breaks my heart. I don't think you did anything "wrong" with him--of course he wants to be with you! You're fun, and awesome, and you make him feel like the most amazing person in the world. It's no wonder he hates leaving you. Did I ever tell you my mom's stories about me at 4 years old, sobbing because my mom had to go to work? She says I broke her heart, too, and I turned out...well, mostly ok.

Sorry the daycare thing is still so hard. I hope it gets easier soon.

crse said...

See! This brings up a good problem. Ideally Jesse, you could push on the name as it is highlighted and refer to an explanation. LB, I thought about listing them, but i like the highlight thing and the ability to track back...how does one do that per chance? (hehehe thanks guys, i think he is adorable too) (and norm ( Not his real name. Short for norman bates, because i think im turning him into said psycho) is quite the little nudist, now that you mention it)

crse said...

and BTW LB: do you remember that? crying for your mom and breaking her heart? You turned out fantastic baby. If norm and/or turnip turn(s) out half as well....

Canada said...

Breathe, crse, they ALL go through it. And they all get over it (some later than others). Corwin was just pathetic one day when my aunt was babysitting (the kids had just turned 3), and he got Clara all riled up, too, and both of them sat on the couch looking out the window, periodically wailing "Mummy, come back". My aunt found this amusing, until Corwin started "Mummy, come back, we're hungry!". Give me a break - she'd been trying to feed them, but they were refusing! Well, their tummies won.

And they left for 3 days with my parents this morning. I'm the one with the separation anxiety at the moment!

factor 10 said...

Hang in there! My Big O was like a howler monkey when it came to drop offs...I'd have to drop him off early so I'd have time to compose myself if it was one of "those" mornings. Little O forgets to wave as she runs away.

crse said...

Thanks guys. I know it will pass. Eventually. (ive been saying that for three years now) Jen,Im glad to hear that little O is still like that because im hoping the turnip maintains his footloose attitude as norm gets better. Funny story Canada! I know they all go through it at some point. And besides, tomorrow is another day...

Hip Grandma said...

i've had to leave three school going kids with their 70 year old grandfather because i could not afford a day care.Till the children were in their middle school i'd spend half my time sorting out their quarrels and the remaining time cleaning up the mess they'd create in my absence.'will these children ever grow up?' i'd wonder.Now they have grown up to be fine adults.I felt as bad as you did but it turned out right in the end.Every thing will be fine.Just be patient.