Saturday, August 05, 2006

the sweet sounds of morning

Dateline: Friday: 6:20am- your humble author is still recovering from iced coffee wednesday (bad idea) and is awakened to the sound of the turnip pounding the wall. Nobody crying. Nobody screaming. Going back to sleep.

6:28am- Norm comes in. Hungry. Cant sleep. This results in the turnip screaming. WHERE THE HELL IS Gill? (and turns out he took my car to Pittsburgh because I have ac and he does not)So I send Norm back in with fruit snacks, Nilla Wafers and cheese crackers (all which are forbidden in their bedroom, but if you think you need to be in Pittsburgh that early, you need to accept the consequences).

6:31-7:50am- A series of Norm coming in, reporting various infractions the turnip may or may not be committing from his crib, asking me to open popsicles, and complaining about the woes of his existence. Intersperse this with random screaming fits from the turnip whenever norm walks away from him.

7:50am: Norm comes in. Climbs in bed and announces that he is NOT going back in the same room with the turnip because he is gross and he stinks. So your humble author rouses herself in what really amounts to the middle of the night as iced coffee Wednesday disrupted my circadian rhythms. We change and de-grossify the turnip, and negotiate a deal with norm that if we hang out in his bed, he will let me "sleep" and make sure the turnip does not harm himself.

7:55-9am- Clearly rest was a complete delusion. Between the turnip's general dissatisfaction and Norm's various requests and observations, there was not one full minute of silence. The charade ended when the turnip pooped again and i was not able to convince norm it was only gas any longer. We migrated to the living room.

Im happy to say that despite morning after morning of this same scene happening, I do not abandon hope that my old days of blissful sleeping are not too far away.


factor 10 said...

Ugh, I feel your pain. Negotiated settlements over popsicles and cheetos at our house, Big O tries to get Lil O to stay quiet about the things they raid from the pantry on Saturday mornings... Why do babies poop at twice the normal quantity and stench only on days that you are a) sick or b)want to die?

luckybuzz said...

Aw, I want to come hang out with Norm and the Turnip while you get some sleep! (Except I don't want to be there for the pooping part...)

Canada said...

Ah, delusional Mummy! Wait until Norm can tell time. I have a rule that mine have to stay in their rooms until 7 - they can read or play quietly, but anything before 7 is uncivilized (obviously, the Turnip is too little for this). And now Corwin and Clara have clocks in their room. What they don't know is that their clocks are about 20 minutes slow, so 7 am? Is really closer to 7:30! Hoping that they don't figure this out anytime soon. And iced coffee Wed sounds fun!

Jesse said...

The promise of sleep is a falacy used to keep people complacent. Fight the system and take naps every chance you get.